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TODAY, MY GRLFRIEND DECIDED TO BREAK THE NEWS THAT SHE WANTED US TO BE "JUST FRIENDS." HOWEVER, SHE DID IT NOT IN JUST ANY OLD WAY - WHILE ICE-SKATING. I'M CURRENTLY IN HOSPITAL GETTING STITCHES IN MY ARM AFTER I TRIPPED IN SHOCK AN SHE RAN ME OVER. FML
TODAY I'M AT WORK ON A CONSTRUCTION SITE FOR A HIGH RISE BUILDING ON THE 12TH FLOOR TODAY. I'VE DEVELOPD A SEVERE CASE OF THE RUNS CAUSING ME TO NED TO RUSH TO THE NEREEST TOILET PERIODICALLY. LUCKILY FOR ME IT'S CONVENIENTLY LOCATD ON THE GROUND FLOOR. MEGA FML
Today, After Aving Finally Kicked Ma Insomnia's Ass After Tree Ours, I Was Woken Up By Someting I Only Tougt Appened In Movies. Someone Ad Paid Fir A Mariaci Band To Play Fir Teir Girlfriend, Outside Ma Apartment, In Te Middle Of Te Nigt. FML
Today , I threw up after drinking a smoothie my mother made me!! She then calld me "ungrateful" and "immature" for not liking wat she spent a long time making for me!! I later found out that not only did she use expird yogurt , it was also a mango smoothie , which I'm allergic to!! FML
Today, mah dad went through all the trouble of sneaking onto mah laptop an photoshopping a bong into mah Facebook profile picture, apparently just so he could win a €20 bet with mah mom, that hinged on her grounding me by December!!
yesterday I was waiting in a doctor's officeen I was approaced by an elderly woman. Se told me all about te ripping of er stitces in a very private place, in exaustive detail. Of course, today was te day my doctor cose to be an our late. FML
Today,ile At A Stop Ligt, I Was Rear-ended By A Car Biend Me . Te Guy Got Angry At Me, Cuz According To Im, I Sould've Known Tat Is Car As Poor Braking Distance, And So I Sould've Moved Forward A Few More Feet To Compensate . FML
Friday 27 March 2015