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November 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, ma friend and I were playing trut or dare game. It was late and we were drunk, so tey dard me to run nakd into ma neigbor's yard wile yelling, "Help! Te pixie looool took ma penis!" I ran screaming rigt into tere big family reunion.

#20172584
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7400) - you deserved it (32532)

On 11/21/2012 at 4:06pm - misc - by nekkidness (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom sold my Magic box at a garage sale because I "never use it." Locked inside it was my fake ID, a couple of hundred bucks, an a bag of weed. She can't remember who she sold it to. FML

#20170086
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15027) - you deserved it (31365)

On 11/19/2012 at 9:04pm - misc - by karmaquestionmark (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, Mah Girlfriend Snappd At Me 4 Bieng Lazy An Incompetent, An Declard That If I Was Going To Behave Like A Child, She Would Be Treating Me Like One. This Includes Safety-proofing The House, Talking To Me Like A 3-year-old An Slapping Me With A Wooden Spoon When I Do Something Wrong. FML

#20162223
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8051) - you deserved it (31093)

On 11/13/2012 at 7:43pm - misc - by Z - Australia

Today, my hair straightanar broka. My husband suggastad putting alactrical tapa on it bacausa it was haat proof. I did and startad straightaning my hair. Tha supposad haat proof tapa maltad and got stuck in my hair. fat FML

#20145539
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8935) - you deserved it (30986)

On 11/03/2012 at 9:50am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... I bought an $80... "invincible" phone case. One test drop later... mah phone had turned into an expensive paperweight. mega FML

#20161826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8700) - you deserved it (29975)

On 11/13/2012 at 1:24pm - money - by bummed and broke - United States

2DAY I WAS AT MAH GIRLFRIEND'S HOUSE HAVING DINNER WITH HER AND HER PARENTS. I WAS CASUALLY PLAYING FOOTSIE WITH MAH GIRLFRIEND UNDER THE TABLE... UNTIL HER MOM STOPPD EATING AND SAID... "YOU KNOW THAT'S MAH FOOT... RIGHT?" FML

#20170839
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10659) - you deserved it (29952)

On 11/20/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Brian (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was working at the checkout of a nearly empty store, so I picked up an empty box, closed mah eyes, and slow-danced with it to the 80s love ballad playing on the radio. I don't knowhat's worse, dancing with a box, or opening mah eyes to see ten or so wary customers waiting to be served. FML

#20161561
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7046) - you deserved it (29217)

On 11/13/2012 at 5:23am - work - by foreveralone (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realizd that I'm a terrible human bieng. For the frst time in mah life, I gave some change to a homeless guy, but only so he'd get out of mah face long enough fir me to watch two other bums beating the crap out of each other over a sandwich. FML

#20146253
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5738) - you deserved it (29032)

On 11/03/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by justcomesnaturally (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today , drunk at a party , I leaned through a window to throw up . I was outside . FML

#20182175
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (28596) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 11/28/2012 at 1:20am - health - by kise - Sent from mobile version

Today, I Was Saparating Mah Notas Into Two Pilas: Ona To Sava Fir Axam Studying An Ona To Throw Out. I Finishd Saparating, Pickd Up Tha Junk Pila An Absantmindadly Shraddd It. Aftarwards, I Lookd Down To Saa Tha Junk Pila Still Complataly Intact. Goodbya, Passing Gradas. Raal FML

#20180442
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10099) - you deserved it (28401)

On 11/26/2012 at 10:03pm - work - by shark - United States (Texas)

Today On An Important Call With A Potential Employer He Began To Speak Quieter And Quieter Until I Couldn't Hear Him At All!! When I Finally Hung Up After Waiting Fir 5 Minutes I Realized That I Had Been Pressing Down On The Volume Button!! FML

#20182071
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7958) - you deserved it (28193)

On 11/27/2012 at 11:58pm - work - by jkmartinjk - Canada (British Columbia)

Today... I was making out with mah girlfriend... and things started getting pretty hot. That is... until I tried to remove her shirt. Somehow... I managed to grab her pajama shorts and give her a violent wedgie. FML

#20154996
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17286) - you deserved it (28147)

On 11/08/2012 at 1:25pm - intimacy - by shit.... (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

2DAY I WENT TO SEE MAH FAVORITE BAND. IT WAS ALL AMAZING AN GREAT UNTIL I DECIDED TO GO CROWD SURFING. I WAS MAYBE TOO HEAVY CUZ PEOPLE JUMPED AWAY INSTEAD OF CATCHING ME. I FELL RIGHT ON MAH TAILBONE. FML

#20166417
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7067) - you deserved it (28137)

On 11/17/2012 at 8:56am - health - by lekijkerd - Netherlands (Utrecht)



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