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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML

#20129490
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19527) - you deserved it (4651)

On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18963) - you deserved it (4629)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17512) - you deserved it (4623)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19794) - you deserved it (4607)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21393) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25852) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23455) - you deserved it (4572)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML

#20128322
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30003) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17766) - you deserved it (4543)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML

#20138280
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18750) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23297) - you deserved it (4489)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24471) - you deserved it (4405)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20057) - you deserved it (4338)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)



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