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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML

#20096195
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25128) - you deserved it (6494)

On 10/01/2012 at 12:23am - love - by SorryUncleTommy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally found a cute dress that hugged my curves and hid my imperfections. I wore it to my friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walked into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

#20128171
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24346) - you deserved it (6402)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, the guardian angel charm my grandma gave to me for "safe driving" fell off my sun visor while I was driving. This scared me enough to cause me to swerve into another moving car. So much for safe driving. FML

#20119674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17934) - you deserved it (6246)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31290) - you deserved it (6241)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML

#20134692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25931) - you deserved it (6213)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, my husband and I decided to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adopted. Her response was, "Thank God!" FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (6179)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, after having loaned my girlfriend money after she claimed to be broke and unable to pay her rent and electricity bills, she went out, spent it all on a new purse and phone, and now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23266) - you deserved it (6123)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home covered in pee. FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23529) - you deserved it (6079)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in my weekly journal for college, my professor suggested in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18784) - you deserved it (6074)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant. When I asked why, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina. He still doesn't get it. FML

#20107225
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37070) - you deserved it (6033)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (5981)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (5934)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

Today, my husband spent our entire anniversary sulking because I wasn't up for sex. I gave birth to our first child less than two weeks ago. FML

#20099391
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36827) - you deserved it (5907)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)



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