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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd girl goes to college, finally loses virginity; gets chlamydia. FML

#20106351
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37312) - you deserved it (12420)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, at work, my boss asked me why I wasn't adhering to proper dress code. I pointed out that skinny jeans are in the dress code, to which he replied, "Only if you're skinny." FML

#20102886
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22034) - you deserved it (11909)

On 10/05/2012 at 12:40pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at a pool party, I found out the reason I got my new, white bikini at such a bargain price; it goes completely transparent when wet. I only realized this after everyone was staring at me and whistling. FML

#20119331
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19894) - you deserved it (11233)

On 10/16/2012 at 7:28am - misc - by bargainshopper (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I bought professional hair clippers to shave down below, thinking it would be safer than using a razor. Let's just say the bathroom now looks like a murder scene, and it's going to be a while before I have sex again. FML

#20124733
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (11221)

On 10/20/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML

#20102528
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17114) - you deserved it (10919)

On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was singing one of my favorite songs in my car while at a red light. A guy made it a point to get my attention and said, "If you're really going to sing that bad, you should probably roll your windows up." FML

#20126033
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15738) - you deserved it (10465)

On 10/21/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

#20129928
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31449) - you deserved it (10197)

On 10/23/2012 at 3:12pm - intimacy - by Andrew - United States

Today, before leaving my house, I OCD-checked all of my doors 16 times to make sure that they were locked. When I got home, my house had been broken into. Turns out I accidentally unlocked my front door when trying to lock it for the last time. This is why I have OCD. FML

#20141026
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21301) - you deserved it (9326)

On 10/30/2012 at 11:02pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I told my daughter that she won't be going to her homecoming dance as punishment for her terrible grades. She's been crying and singing "If I Die Young" in her room for hours. At this point, I don't know if I need to call a therapist or a vocal coach. FML

#20117570
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25791) - you deserved it (9157)

On 10/15/2012 at 12:07am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, after having bought my daughter a complete set of new school clothes, she threw a tantrum and refused to wear them. I told her she could either wear them, or go to school naked. She made if half-way down the street in the nude before I caught up and dragged her back inside. FML

#20102964
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25716) - you deserved it (9134)

On 10/05/2012 at 2:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wokingham)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75156) - you deserved it (8794)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had to lie to my boyfriend and tell him that the red bumps around my nipples was heat rash, rather than admit it was actually razor burn. FML

#20110590
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24758) - you deserved it (8660)

On 10/10/2012 at 3:07pm - intimacy - by hairynips (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my first orgasm. Unfortunately, it was during breakup sex. FML

#20110068
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30187) - you deserved it (8380)

On 10/10/2012 at 2:01am - intimacy - by Depression... (woman) - United States



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