Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21014) - you deserved it (4133)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my cat meowing, with her dilated vagina in my face, giving birth to her first litter of kittens. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28460) - you deserved it (4131)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:29pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, during dinner, my daughter rudely cut into my conversation and gushed that she's "like, totally" going to audition for a reality TV show next year, after I pay her way. Five minutes into her jaw-dropping stupidity, I had to physically restrain myself from slapping her out of her chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (4125)
On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)
Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21333) - you deserved it (4081)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17807) - you deserved it (4048)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (4046)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21180) - you deserved it (4038)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15294) - you deserved it (4029)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24500) - you deserved it (3970)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21759) - you deserved it (3879)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16463) - you deserved it (3875)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14139) - you deserved it (3823)
On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12598) - you deserved it (3811)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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