Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21769) - you deserved it (1419)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20528) - you deserved it (1414)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my sister-in-law was diagnosed with breast cancer. My mother then confided in me that she suspected it was a prank to get more money from our family. FML

#20125135
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21314) - you deserved it (1402)

On 10/20/2012 at 11:10am - misc - by iamsolid - United States

Today, my aunt brought me a birthday present. I quickly figured out that she'd simply returned the jacket I let her borrow two years ago for my brother's graduation party. It reeks of cigarette smoke and alcohol. FML

#20115007
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17474) - you deserved it (1380)

On 10/13/2012 at 1:32pm - misc - by bubblebuttfuckfart (woman) - Ireland

Today, two girls came up to me on the street and asked if they could take a photo with me for their high school scavenger hunt, because they needed a picture with a stranger. One of the girls shook her head and said to the other, "It needs to be an attractive stranger" and walked away. FML

#20118386
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20545) - you deserved it (1363)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:09pm - misc - by notattractiveatall (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my roommate thought it would be funny to throw a brick down the laundry-chute. Guess who spent the night at the hospital. FML

#20097230
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19187) - you deserved it (1348)

On 10/01/2012 at 7:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, at around 11pm the police made a visit to my house, explaining how my neighbors had thought I was using a universal remote to change their television channels. FML

#20099119
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22945) - you deserved it (1338)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, a parent was too busy texting to notice her child had run in front of a moving truck. She did however see me grab the child's backpack to yank him back out of traffic. She then screamed at me for "manhandling" her child and demanded I be fired. It's not even my school; I'm a part time sub. FML

#20129237
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28854) - you deserved it (1334)

On 10/22/2012 at 11:51pm - work - by bad samaritan (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to eat my breakfast in terrified silence, as my hungover mother staggered into the room, shouted at the kettle for not boiling fast enough, and after a few seconds, screamed that I'd sabotaged it. I'm now grounded for supposedly trying to fuck with her head. FML

#20113953
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22973) - you deserved it (1321)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by WTF (woman) - New Zealand (Waikato)

Today, while shopping, an old man came up to me and told me I should be ashamed for walking around fake limping, and that it's horrible to mock people who actually limp from serious injuries. I wasn't faking, I was born without my right leg and I was getting used to my new prosthetic one. FML

#20119882
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31577) - you deserved it (1312)

On 10/16/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Faker (woman) - United States

Today, my right ear drum ruptured. My family doesn't understand that I only lost hearing in one ear and continues to talk about me behind my back, thinking I can't hear them. FML

#20106279
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22078) - you deserved it (1303)

On 10/07/2012 at 7:39pm - health - by lbelle - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I tried to do my leaf collection project for biology, which ended with me being hospitalized because of an allergy attack. I have no idea what I'm allergic to, but my doctor says I should just assume I'm "allergic to all leaves, ever." FML

#20126324
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20589) - you deserved it (1299)

On 10/21/2012 at 6:31am - health - by leaftheerickson (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, after having tried for months to get a promotion at work, I finally had an interview for a higher position. Everything went great, and I was told I would get a call next week for my second interview. I went back to my desk, only to get an email stating they're canceling the position. FML

#20099884
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18693) - you deserved it (1299)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:19pm - work - by bb - United States (New Hampshire)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: