Today, my fiancé's stepfather asked me how my teaching job was going. I replied heatedly that I've never taught, and then complained bitterly to my fiancé about how his family still doesn't know me. Turns out his stepfather has early onset dementia, and that I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6222) - you deserved it (20255)
On 10/23/2012 at 9:29am - misc - by inthefamily (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly, so I stared at it for about 10 seconds waiting for spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4392) - you deserved it (19568)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, my boyfriend and I made love for the first time. Before we left his house so he could walk me home, I fixed my hair by the hall mirror and joked about having serious sex hair. My boyfriend quickly reminded me that his incredibly religious mother was in the next room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6507) - you deserved it (19523)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by blabbermouth (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)
Today, I noticed that my penis looks tiny in my girlfriend's hands. Without thinking, I pointed it out to her. Now she thinks I have a small cock, and I think she has man-hands. Either way, we're both turned off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8121) - you deserved it (19494)
On 10/09/2012 at 4:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I discovered that my 12-year-old son has secretly been printing out and selling copies of the suggestive photos from my camera that I'd taken for my husband. He's been selling them to kids at school for a dollar each. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9168) - you deserved it (19127)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:02pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life. It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5616) - you deserved it (18842)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went out and made build-a-bears that looked like my daughter and her new boyfriend. It turns out she had been insisting that I didn't for a good reason; upon sight of his, her boyfriend screamed and fled the house. Turns out he was nearly mauled to death by a bear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11625) - you deserved it (17521)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend, saying I had a lot on my plate. She responded by throwing an empty plate at my windshield. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7391) - you deserved it (16081)
On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I jokingly asked my girlfriend what she got me for my half birthday, to which she replied "A baby." She was serious. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8537) - you deserved it (16076)
On 10/29/2012 at 2:10pm - kids - by JiggaJayZ - United States
Today, while driving with my puppy in the passenger seat, he jumped out of the window. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (16021)
On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States
Today, I was invited to my boyfriend's house for dinner for the first time. His mom made a fantastic dinner, so I showed my appreciation by eating the lot. Apparently I was overdoing it because when I looked up everyone was staring. His dad muttered, "Slow the hell down." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9522) - you deserved it (15784)
On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I tried to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I reminded him of his mother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9383) - you deserved it (15584)
On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan
Today, I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth. I stopped, not because I decided it was a bad idea, but because it looks too hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5493) - you deserved it (15139)
On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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