Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21381) - you deserved it (3305)
On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14493) - you deserved it (3267)
On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States
Today, I was consoling my drunk husband as he violently emptied his stomach contents into our toilet. One particular retch made me nauseous, and I vomited all down his back, causing him to turn his head and vomit all over the wall. I got to clean it all up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (3263)
On 10/08/2012 at 9:55pm - love - by hnickell93 (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I forgot to pay for my train ride for the first time. Today was also the first time I've ever seen transit security checking for people's tickets and kicking offenders off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12840) - you deserved it (3212)
On 10/20/2012 at 9:59pm - money - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend tried to wake me with a handjob. Because I'm a very light sleeper, I woke straight away and instinctively punched whoever was touching my dick. She forgave me, but I don't think her father ever will once he finds out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13789) - you deserved it (3193)
On 10/20/2012 at 1:29pm - love - by nahalDZ - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22321) - you deserved it (3166)
On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, my son got expelled after using the photocopier to photocopy his penis. He then used the copies to replace every directional arrow posted throughout the school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22232) - you deserved it (3160)
On 10/22/2012 at 2:56pm - kids - by thebeachisthatway (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17433) - you deserved it (3148)
On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)
Today, I noticed a rather small man being harassed by a rather large man, so I tried to help out and break it up. The small guy punched me in the face and said, "Mind your business!" The large guy laughed and fist-bumped him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13250) - you deserved it (3129)
On 10/29/2012 at 3:55am - misc - by Nice Guy (man) - United States (California)
Today, at breakfast, my sister labelled me a "feminist." My whole family now refuses to talk to me for more than 30 seconds, and acts as though I have an incurable, highly contagious disease. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13036) - you deserved it (3117)
On 10/23/2012 at 4:21am - kids - by hating labels - Australia
Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12341) - you deserved it (3115)
On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I wanted to surprise my long distance girlfriend by flying to her unannounced. When I arrived at her house, her family tells me that she herself boarded an unannounced flight to where I lived hours ago. Surprise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26846) - you deserved it (3094)
On 10/06/2012 at 6:04am - love - by Jex (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23896) - you deserved it (3092)
On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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