Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML

#20102154
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21226) - you deserved it (5702)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States

Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML

#20101066
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27076) - you deserved it (5571)

On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19997) - you deserved it (5548)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML

#20110803
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34066) - you deserved it (5530)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, after a great first date, he leaned in to kiss me. I held my breath slightly. This resulted in me breathing out through my nose, blowing a huge snot bubble, which then burst on his face. He looked at me in horror and walked away. FML

#20106995
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26616) - you deserved it (5357)

On 10/08/2012 at 3:14am - love - by stoych (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21405) - you deserved it (5316)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

#20107056
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25812) - you deserved it (5288)

On 10/08/2012 at 5:12am - love - by embarrassed (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18514) - you deserved it (5263)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23583) - you deserved it (5191)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

#20123973
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18567) - you deserved it (5114)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (5025)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend doggy-style. I was getting close when he suddenly blurts out, "Babe, you really need to bleach your asshole." FML

#20095626
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31665) - you deserved it (5017)

On 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home to find an almost completely devoured cheesecake, The Notebook playing on the TV, and a shoe thrown at my head. It's safe to say my girlfriend is just about on her period. FML

#20128340
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27987) - you deserved it (5000)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:08pm - misc - by jesushelpme (man) - United States (Missouri)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: