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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at work as a massage therapist, I pulled down the guy's blanket slightly to massage his lower back. There were shit stains spreading from his ass crack all the way to his mid-back. When I told him, he wanted me to massage there anyway. FML

#20127667
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (1497)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:07am - work - by Lunazel93 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while mowing the lawn, I was attacked by an underground hornet nest. I now have many stings, two scared dogs, and a mower still running outside. The hornets are swarming it and some are sitting on the lever, as if to turn it off. It's like they know. FML

#20121138
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22721) - you deserved it (1490)

On 10/17/2012 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, we got new seats in class today. The guy placed next to me, turned, looked me dead in the eye, and said, "The balls are the warmest place on the body" while his hands were in his pants. I'm stuck next to him for the rest of the semester. FML

#20140711
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20723) - you deserved it (1485)

On 10/30/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while giving a speech at work, I started sneezing. After what seemed to be the last sneeze, I went on talking. Apparently it wasn't, and I blew out my eardrum. FML

#20141826
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22014) - you deserved it (1469)

On 10/31/2012 at 5:03pm - work - by SoSoRachel - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was talking to my future mother-in-law about my upcoming wedding. She told me that I wasn't allowed to have the wedding at a church, nor wear a white dress, nor have roses for flowers, because that would mean I'd be "copying" her. FML

#20115456
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26831) - you deserved it (1467)

On 10/13/2012 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I got fired from a job that I've had for four days for being too "secretive." Apparently, I was leaning over my notebook so that my boss couldn't stand behind me and read what I was writing. The email literally said I was "being too sneaky". They were work notes. FML

#20132367
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18852) - you deserved it (1448)

On 10/25/2012 at 2:59am - work - by TheHarvardian (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, while working, a woman complained that she didn't ask for sauce on her sandwich. After examining the sandwich, I realized it was just melted cheese. When I told her, she threw the sandwich at me. FML

#20099296
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21940) - you deserved it (1438)

On 10/02/2012 at 11:33pm - work - by Sara (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend's new favorite TV show is Law and Order SVU. Now after every episode she insists on asking me if I'm sure I wasn't molested as a kid. She's still on the first season. FML

#20123502
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18250) - you deserved it (1435)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:41am - misc - by soprahb - United States

Today, I had to call the cops to break up a fistfight at my mother's funeral. It turns out my two brothers care more about having a pissing match over their favorite football teams than they do honoring our mother's memory. FML

#20105847
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23931) - you deserved it (1424)

On 10/07/2012 at 2:34pm - kids - by RIP (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I fell down the stairs and landed heavily on my foot. Because I wasn't crying, my mom refused to take me to the hospital. It took me an hour of agony to convince her. It turned out to be broken in three different places. FML

#20098585
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (1418)

On 10/02/2012 at 4:55pm - health - by ... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with pink eye. My mom tried to help by putting drops in. It started burning like hell; she didn't understand why. It turns out she was putting ear drops in my eye. FML

#20132231
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (1418)

On 10/25/2012 at 12:37am - health - by allison_fishing - United States

Today, I have such bad diarrhea that every time I sneeze I poop. I've discovered it's very hard to run to the bathroom every time I feel the urge to sneeze. FML

#20103865
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (1405)

On 10/06/2012 at 3:12am - health - by monkers - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was grocery shopping, when an elderly lady walked up to me and tripped over her own feet. I caught her by the arm, at which point she shrieked at me for "groping" her. She ended up smirking as security threw me out of the store. FML

#20114046
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21708) - you deserved it (1398)

On 10/12/2012 at 8:18pm - misc - by atleastshelldiefirst (man) - United States



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Friday 19 September 2014

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