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October 2012

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Today, my mom hosted a high-school reunion. I had to prepare dessert, while my brother cooked dinner. Being the absolute dickhead that he is, he switched the sugar with salt. All the desserts I made tasted like shit, everyone left, and I got grounded for my supposed prank. FML

#20127118
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20970) - you deserved it (1914)

On 10/21/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HOPE YOU GET PEGGED (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my mom gives my brother tips on how to hurt my feelings the most. FML

#20107287
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29296) - you deserved it (1902)

On 10/08/2012 at 11:08am - misc - by LovedByFamily (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26785) - you deserved it (1899)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, the bar owner I work for told us to pay better attention to our drunk patrons, and to start cutting them off. A fellow bar maid asked how we are supposed to tell when it's time. He pointed at me and said, "When they start hitting on her, they're too drunk to drive." FML

#20141378
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26849) - you deserved it (1898)

On 10/31/2012 at 7:30am - work - by kat (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML

#20128630
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21379) - you deserved it (1883)

On 10/22/2012 at 6:34pm - misc - by petra84 - United States (Colorado)

Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20329) - you deserved it (1861)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

#20102772
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18459) - you deserved it (1860)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by sketchball (man) - United States

Today, my boss fired me because of the way I laugh. Apparently it reminds him too much of his ex-wife's laugh. I'm a guy. FML

#20108910
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23917) - you deserved it (1858)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57am - work - by Johnnogood (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23982) - you deserved it (1850)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (1837)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was complimented for having amazingly lifelike warts as part of my witch costume, and was asked how I achieved the effect so well. I didn't have the heart to admit they were just my pimples under green makeup. FML

#20138696
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (1823)

On 10/29/2012 at 2:42pm - misc - by mistickfae - United States

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (1821)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland



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