Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23895) - you deserved it (2239)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51377) - you deserved it (2234)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML

#20131535
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35576) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27829) - you deserved it (2231)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML

#20098150
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32453) - you deserved it (2223)

On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (2217)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML

#20103809
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20314) - you deserved it (2207)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)

Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML

#20133890
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (2200)

On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found a notebook my 12-year-old sister had been doodling in. Turns out the "doodles" were poems full of obscenities and descriptions of how she wanted to hurt herself. When I showed it to my mom, she accused me of writing the notebook myself to frame my sister. FML

#20133698
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27583) - you deserved it (2195)

On 10/26/2012 at 12:38am - kids - by familyofpsychos - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27313) - you deserved it (2190)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML

#20110797
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (2188)

On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30582) - you deserved it (2182)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28436) - you deserved it (2178)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: