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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26141) - you deserved it (2101)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27359) - you deserved it (2095)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22151) - you deserved it (2086)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22852) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18945) - you deserved it (2064)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24152) - you deserved it (2039)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21846) - you deserved it (2032)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, the guy I'm dating came into the same restaurant where I was eating. He was with a girl. He sat at the table next to mine and didn't even bother to say, "Hi." I guess I'm single again. FML

#20112854
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26162) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:48pm - love - by sadness - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17989) - you deserved it (2013)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML

#20140639
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26216) - you deserved it (2011)

On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my landlord informed me that from now on, she'd prefer if I paid my rent in cash each month. Apparently, I "look sketchy" and she didn't "ever want to deal with the hassle of a bounced check." FML

#20102772
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20002) - you deserved it (1999)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - money - by sketchball (man) - United States

Today, my college class was talking about Felix Baumgartner, who jumped from the edge of space down to earth. A boy suddenly put his head up and said in a serious tone, "I thought he jumped from the moon?" Several girls concurred. This is my generation. FML

#20121409
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25447) - you deserved it (1998)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:15pm - kids - by Mouse (woman) -

Today, my dad watched the news and decided to start preparing for Hurricane Sandy by buying $300 worth of long-life and canned food. We live in Australia. FML

#20138384
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (1987)

On 10/29/2012 at 8:03am - misc - by StormSeason (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



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