Today, my boyfriend went to ask my dad for my hand in marriage. All I could make out from the door was mumbling, until profanities started flying. My boyfriend shouted "well she's a SINGLE bitch now!" and stormed out of the house. My dad still refuses to tell me what happened in there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24401) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/24/2012 at 5:08pm - love - by wtactualfuck :( (woman) - United States
Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14903) - you deserved it (1323)
On 10/01/2012 at 1:47am - misc - by Prae - United States (Texas)
Today, I met someone really cool and their departing words were, for some odd reason, "We should totally be friends, I mean unless you're schizophrenic or something, haha!" I have schizophrenia. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19313) - you deserved it (1321)
On 10/30/2012 at 7:42pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15974) - you deserved it (1320)
On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my mother was digging up our Halloween decorations, and found the Christmas decorations as well. She's shoddily decorated the house already in half-Halloween and half-Christmas style to save time. I guess we'll be celebrating Christmasween for the rest of the year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12290) - you deserved it (1316)
On 10/06/2012 at 1:57am - misc - by Joey - United States (Nevada)
Today, my roommate decided to go vegan after watching a PETA video. She began this new-found lifestyle by throwing out all of the non-vegan items in the house, including some prime rib we had recently purchased, all of our ice cream, and my chocolate stash. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17727) - you deserved it (1310)
On 10/26/2012 at 3:58am - health - by Weasel123 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12441) - you deserved it (1296)
On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)
Today, I was walking in the freezing rain when a guy asked me if I wanted to share his umbrella with him. I grinned and told him I did. He then noticed a pretty girl walking behind me and he abruptly turned to her and asked her the same question. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18321) - you deserved it (1296)
On 10/06/2012 at 11:52am - misc - by FML_Elle - United States
Today, my sister thought it would be funny to place a cardboard cut-out of a person at the foot of my bed. I woke up, saw the cut-out from the corner of my eye, fell out of bed, landed on my hand wrong, and broke two fingers. She got it all on video. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15452) - you deserved it (1287)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by scaredofcutouts (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19897) - you deserved it (1280)
On 10/15/2012 at 8:04pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)
Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17963) - you deserved it (1275)
On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)
Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14842) - you deserved it (1275)
On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia
Today, I was loudly bitched out by someone for speaking in a fake British accent, to make myself "sound sophisticated". I moved here two years ago from London. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20630) - you deserved it (1274)
On 10/10/2012 at 4:03pm - misc - by britchick95 (woman) - United States (Nebraska)
Monday 20 May 2013
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