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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14870) - you deserved it (1380)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, as my dad and I were leaving a store, a man asked us if we could donate to an Alzheimer's fund. My dad hates being asked for money, and so he immediately hunched over and acted like a dirty, senile old man all the way to the car. FML

#20113923
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13461) - you deserved it (1378)

On 10/12/2012 at 6:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16133) - you deserved it (1375)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, someone stole the massive pumpkin I've been painstakingly growing all year. What did they do with it? They put it in the middle of a busy intersection. FML

#20098412
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18233) - you deserved it (1367)

On 10/02/2012 at 2:48pm - misc - by peterpeterpumpkineater (man) - United States

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21739) - you deserved it (1365)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I learned that scorpions can apparently hold their breath for hours, and that doing so makes them angry. I found this out when I removed a scorpion from the bottom of my pool and found that it was not entirely drowned. FML

#20112873
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16708) - you deserved it (1362)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:56pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15757) - you deserved it (1362)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13213) - you deserved it (1356)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18264) - you deserved it (1350)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
135 comments

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16858) - you deserved it (1330)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16427) - you deserved it (1327)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while at my job as a hairdresser, I was giving an elderly client a perm and I thought she'd fallen asleep. She'd died. FML

#20102415
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38810) - you deserved it (1327)

On 10/05/2012 at 1:49am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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