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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went on a coffee date with the man I've been in love with for a while. Before I knew what was going on, he'd started chatting up a pretty girl sitting nearby. I had to drink my coffee alone while he got her number. FML

#20113670
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21686) - you deserved it (2126)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:43pm - love - by firstdategonebad - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell down the stairs. Lying on my back in extreme pain, I called my mom for help. When she came over, she said I looked like a dead bug, took a picture and posted it on Facebook. FML

#20118333
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23350) - you deserved it (2123)

On 10/15/2012 at 5:38pm - health - by Bug (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22744) - you deserved it (2066)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20058) - you deserved it (2065)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18871) - you deserved it (2057)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22362) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28609) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24064) - you deserved it (2031)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to buy groceries while suffering horrible morning sickness. My nausea magnified as I stood in line behind an obese lady wearing a tank top and tiny short shorts. I lost everything in my stomach when she stuck her hand down her shorts and started scratching at her ass-crack. FML

#20101402
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26531) - you deserved it (2029)

On 10/04/2012 at 2:10pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39224) - you deserved it (2027)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28360) - you deserved it (2023)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (2018)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (2016)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia



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