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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was placed firmly in the friend-zone. By my wife. We've been married 10 years. She doesn't want a divorce, she says it'd be too "time-consuming." FML

#20111577
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29110) - you deserved it (2119)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:56am - love - by agh marriage (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, a customer handed me a 100 dollar bill. He then told me that it was my tip for doing a good job. He snatched it away just as I touched it, laughed, and said, "Just kidding." He then took his money and left the store. FML

#20109681
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2065)

On 10/09/2012 at 9:57pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé spent three hours arguing with his mom about how Scientology is a cult followed by simple-minded asshats; she shouted at him saying Xenu will come and fuck his shit up for not believing. This woman is going to be my children's grandmother. FML

#20117718
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20040) - you deserved it (2064)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:54am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa

Today, my boss captured a huge spider and put it in a jar on the desk in our shop. He's named it Fluffy and is threatening to fire me if I harm it. I'm horribly arachnophobic and we share that desk. FML

#20102066
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18848) - you deserved it (2054)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:02pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a classmate came up to me, quickly shoved a dollar bill down my shirt, threw her arms around me and told me to pretend I was her boyfriend to avoid some other guy. Sad thing is, this is the first girl I've hugged in ages. FML

#20100917
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22334) - you deserved it (2052)

On 10/04/2012 at 1:09am - love - by nonfreehugs (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my new roommate showed me to my room, which I got a good deal on. I noticed a big black spot on the floor in the walk-in closet. When I asked, he said his last roommate committed suicide and he didn't want to pay to have the carpets professionally cleaned, hence the "good deal." FML

#20113152
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28576) - you deserved it (2051)

On 10/12/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by Dino (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, at a family reunion, we all squeezed in for a picture. I set the self-timer and ran to get in it. 2 seconds before the picture went off, some guy came up, stole the camera, and ran away. FML

#20118194
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24034) - you deserved it (2030)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:57pm - money - by Pissed (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I came home from a three day vacation to find my psycho ex-girlfriend in my house. Even though I broke up with her six months ago, she hasn't broken up with me. It's alright though, she says she's going to forgive me and she already moved her stuff in when I was out of town. FML

#20103889
139 comments

Today, a cashier asked me if I would like to donate to breast cancer research. Since I have already made my donations this month, I politely declined. The cashier snorted and said, "Maybe you'll feel differently if someone you love got cancer." I'm a two-year survivor. FML

#20130942
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39185) - you deserved it (2024)

On 10/24/2012 at 5:21am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my husband informed me that he recently slept with a secretary of his to become better at sex for me. I don't know what's worse, the fact that he cheated on me or that he seriously believes that he has a reasonable excuse. FML

#20124966
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28333) - you deserved it (2021)

On 10/20/2012 at 4:49am - love - by Enragedbitch - United States (California)

Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML

#20122062
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21713) - you deserved it (2018)

On 10/18/2012 at 2:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, two days after leaving hospital with a broken left leg, I tripped and fell heavily on the floor. My dad quickly asked if I'd broken my other leg. When I reassured him that I hadn't, he disappointedly muttered that it would've been a hilarious story to tell his friends at work. FML

#20103320
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21420) - you deserved it (2016)

On 10/05/2012 at 7:38pm - health - by fucking har har, dad (woman) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

#20097040
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25125) - you deserved it (2010)

On 10/01/2012 at 5:09pm - love - by Lisa - United States (New York)



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