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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22122) - you deserved it (3825)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I saw on my 17-year-old daughter's floor her "To-Do" list. What was #1? Jump in front of a moving vehicle, in hopes that Edward Cullen will use his vampire speed to save her. FML

#20102155
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31173) - you deserved it (3810)

On 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I came home to my wife practising biting her lip in the mirror. Fuck you, Fifty Shades of Grey. FML

#20096658
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29204) - you deserved it (3805)

On 10/01/2012 at 11:02am - love - by fiftyno (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I'm going to be helping the love of my life pick out an engagement ring for my cousin. FML

#20107387
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30586) - you deserved it (3777)

On 10/08/2012 at 12:39pm - love - by unlucky - United States (Michigan)

Today, my daughter called me telling me she had her twin girls. She named them Juli and Anne. Her name is Julianne. Her kids are going to fucking hate her. FML

#20141194
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34327) - you deserved it (3725)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:01am - kids - by poorkids (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML

#20115908
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22820) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:39am - animals - by Patrick - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boyfriend and I were preparing for the arrival of Hurricane Sandy. I tasked him with going out to buy emergency groceries in case we lose power. He returned with dozens of microwave cup noodles. We're going to starve. FML

#20137235
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26507) - you deserved it (3681)

On 10/28/2012 at 4:14pm - love - by cupnoodles (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I overheard my boyfriend and his friends talking in the next room. I smiled when my boyfriend called me beautiful, only to hear his friend laugh and say, "C'mon, dude. She has fat ankles and smells like deli meat." FML

#20127779
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26975) - you deserved it (3677)

On 10/22/2012 at 1:29am - love - by sausagefingers (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my wedding ring went missing. Later, my 3-year-old came to me crying, he'd got it stuck on his penis. When I tried to get it off, he peed on me. FML

#20108644
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35602) - you deserved it (3674)

On 10/09/2012 at 1:53am - kids - by anonymous - United States

Today, my husband decided that he simply couldn't exist any longer without giving me his own version of a wet-willy. He creeped up on me as I was sleeping and wiggled his wet penis around in my ear. FML

#20115322
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29424) - you deserved it (3658)

On 10/13/2012 at 5:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my daughter has a hit list. There are over thirty names on there. My name is on it as well. FML

#20135128
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23827) - you deserved it (3589)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:20am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, for the second day in a row, I was constantly abused, yelled at, insulted, and berated by my wife for "endangering our child's life." I took her to the doctor for a vaccination and flu shot yesterday. FML

#20121390
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26016) - you deserved it (3586)

On 10/17/2012 at 6:58pm - love - by DrugsRX (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I had my 7 month check up for my pregnancy. The nurse weighed me and said, "I see you've gotten into the Halloween candy." FML

#20137716
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21195) - you deserved it (3536)

On 10/28/2012 at 9:53pm - health - by monkeylover996 (woman) - United States



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