Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the power went out at school. If it's out for more than twenty minutes, standard procedure is to let us go home. They came back on almost nineteen minutes later. FML

#20118123
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19114) - you deserved it (2784)

On 10/15/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by anon - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom decided to wake me up by pouring ice cold water on my face. Again. FML

#20136629
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14166) - you deserved it (2751)

On 10/28/2012 at 6:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16111) - you deserved it (2736)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13856) - you deserved it (2716)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband was planning on getting me my favorite movie as an anniversary present; I ended up buying it. He had to give me the money and leave because he is severely arachnophobic and couldn't even pick up the box. I have to hide the movie for fear of it being destroyed. Again. FML

#20134119
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10363) - you deserved it (2715)

On 10/26/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, at the age of 57, my dad got a unicorn tattooed on his shoulder. FML

#20120590
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15911) - you deserved it (2687) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/17/2012 at 1:18am - love - by Anonymous - France (Bretagne)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, I finally realized how stupid I am, when I answered a question correctly in class and my teacher started clapping and cheering. FML

#20096827
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14358) - you deserved it (2667)

On 10/01/2012 at 2:24pm - misc - by dumbgirl4lyf (woman) - Ireland (Monaghan)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19505) - you deserved it (2630)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13373) - you deserved it (2605)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that even though your brother agrees to watch your dogs for a week, it does not mean that he will pick up after them. Apparently, it's okay to leave piss and shit all over the deck and floors because they're not his dogs and he shouldn't have to clean up their messes. FML

#20120904
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14068) - you deserved it (2538)

On 10/17/2012 at 11:53am - animals - by JennyPenny (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I got back my history paper. The whole paper had been crossed out and at the end, my professor had written "Really?!" I still don't know what I did wrong. FML

Today, I tagged along with some friends to a party in the woods. Halfway into the night, a party-goer's boyfriend got extremely drunk and violent, causing the others to panic and drive away in the two cars we pooled in. My best friend and I had to run all the way back home on foot. FML

#20134435
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12426) - you deserved it (2513)

On 10/26/2012 at 4:49pm - misc - by Miss Spasticator (woman) - United States (Washington)



Allison Myres Perry & Jim Perry 's illustrated FML

Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML’s Roommates from hell
  • If we could, we’d probably all live on our own. Exotic dancers would do our cleaning and housework; bartenders would serve us glamorous cocktails with mini paper umbrellas in them every hour on the dot. We would…

Monday 20 May 2013

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: