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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (4266)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was stuck in the bathroom yelling for someone to get me toilet paper. My grandpa slips a small leaf under the door and says, "This is what I used in my day." FML

#20140057
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24338) - you deserved it (4229)

On 10/30/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by Obi1Shinobi - United States

Today, my boyfriend learned how to somersault. He now thinks that he's a ninja and somersaults into every room. FML

#20105538
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19782) - you deserved it (4218)

On 10/07/2012 at 10:20am - love - by justabitembarrassed - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17915) - you deserved it (4144)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21428) - you deserved it (4134)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31784) - you deserved it (4126)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18526) - you deserved it (4116)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, it was my 2 year anniversary with my boyfriend. As we were about to exchange gifts, he got a call and said he had to go home immediately. What was the emergency? His guild leader couldn't find another healer to finish a raid and promised my boyfriend gear if he would step up. FML

#20120587
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (4090)

On 10/17/2012 at 1:16am - love - by Marie (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as I was about to leave for work, my 16-year-old son stumbled home in nothing but his underwear and pink cowboy boots. He threw his hands in the air, yelled, "BOTTLE SIP BOTTLE GUZZLE," promptly threw up and passed out in it. FML

#20111636
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (4005)

On 10/11/2012 at 2:59am - kids - by Failed Parent - United States

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20332) - you deserved it (3996)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, I discovered a brown recluse spider in my house. Before I could smash it, it escaped under the door. Now I'm freaked out and wearing boots and gloves, clutching at my kittens and waiting for it to appear. My dad laughs everytime he walks past. FML

#20141607
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20384) - you deserved it (3992)

On 10/31/2012 at 1:09pm - animals - by NotSpiderman (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19184) - you deserved it (3965)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML



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