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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was cooking something I knew would make a lot of smoke, so I asked my teenage daughter to tape a bag over the smoke detector. She said she did, so I cooked; the alarm went off and firemen came. She hadn't taped over the smoke detector, she'd taped it over the doorbell. FML

#20106895
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18800) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:31am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was fired for actively seeking employment with another company. Because of having just been fired, the other company will no longer give me the time of day. FML

#20132895
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16957) - you deserved it (3671)

On 10/25/2012 at 4:13pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my boyfriend found a take-out menu under my bed. It's probably been there for months. He looked at it and said, "Well, that explains a lot." FML

#20132432
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14931) - you deserved it (3664)

On 10/25/2012 at 5:58am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend trying to initiate sex with me in my sleep. He confessed to thinking that if he did it lightly enough, I'd think I was just dreaming. FML

#20115885
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25083) - you deserved it (3649)

On 10/14/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Light Sleeper - United States (Indiana)

Today, I got lost at Best Buy. Meanwhile, my mom freaked out, and they called out my name over the intercom. When I walked up to the desk and they saw I was 17, the employees burst out laughing. FML

#20098355
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19045) - you deserved it (3636)

On 10/02/2012 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anna - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my stepdaughter called to say hello and to give me a warning: she will do whatever it takes to keep me from having a baby with her dad, including pushing me down the stairs. I'm 12 weeks pregnant, and we were going to tell her this weekend. I'm now petrified of a 10-year-old. FML

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16915) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I surprised my boyfriend with a bag containing condoms and sexy lingerie. He looks into it and says, "I hope you kept the receipt." FML

#20106911
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27135) - you deserved it (3610)

On 10/08/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by juliette (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

#20101252
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29367) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/04/2012 at 11:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, after years of being terrified of those biscuit cans that pop when you unwrap them, I finally decided I'd open one myself. I'm sitting in the hospital with a sliced hand from the lid and can feel therapy in my future. FML

#20129768
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16887) - you deserved it (3524)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:01pm - misc - by afraidofcans - United States (Virginia)

Today, my husband and I found out that our dog was pregnant. He now refuses to have kids with me for at least two years, because he wants to raise the puppies without any "distractions". FML

#20140254
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23790) - you deserved it (3507)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:45pm - animals - by Lilly - United States

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12134) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16584) - you deserved it (3477)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)



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