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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while getting intimate with my girlfriend, she asked me to whisper her name. Apparently, her name is not Kate. FML

#20140315
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9692) - you deserved it (67539)

On 10/30/2012 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by you (man) - United Kingdom

Today, after great sex with my boyfriend, I lay in my bed while he went to get a drink from downstairs. Hearing someone come up, I shouted out as a joke, "Damn babe, I'm covered in cum, was there a hole you didn't fill?" It wasn't my boyfriend, it was my dad. FML

#20109762
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14256) - you deserved it (55657)

On 10/09/2012 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by cumhole (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

#20117763
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6070) - you deserved it (52339)

On 10/15/2012 at 6:28am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, while looking through the camera my boyfriend got me, I found a video of a girl giving him head. After screaming at him about it and breaking up with him, I realized the girl was a drunken me. FML

#20119129
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7137) - you deserved it (52090)

On 10/16/2012 at 1:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my young son and I were in line at Subway. I guess he got bored and started to insult the teenage girl behind us. I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't listen. Eventually the girl punched him in the face and left. As my son cried uncontrollably, everyone else there clapped. FML

#20129296
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8635) - you deserved it (48851)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:25am - kids - by Bratty son (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while my mother's blind friend was waiting in our kitchen for my mom to come home, I thought it would be funny to talk to her in the nude. Turns out she's only blind in one eye. FML

#20127252
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5413) - you deserved it (48801)

On 10/21/2012 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, while walking on a nearly empty street, my friend dared me to slap a tall muscular chick on the butt and run away. I went and did it, but before I even had a chance to turn and run, she grabbed me, bent me over her knee and spanked me until I cried. My friend filmed it. FML

#20130842
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6469) - you deserved it (44533)

On 10/24/2012 at 1:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I ran into my ex-girlfriend from 5 years back. Still bitter, I said, "Hey baby, you remember riding me 5 years ago?" I was then punched in the face and restrained until the police arrived. She'd been having an 8 year anniversary dinner with her husband. FML

#20131351
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16147) - you deserved it (43979)

On 10/24/2012 at 2:26pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went to the surprise birthday party of an ex I still love, though I'm the one who ended things. I walked in in time to see her screaming "Yes" to her kneeling boyfriend, her parents crying and applauding, and her brothers patting him on the back. FML

#20110139
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8430) - you deserved it (43048)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:26am - love - by Toolate (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, it's the five year anniversary of the day I broke up with my girlfriend to see other people. I've not had sex a single time since. FML

#20134961
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8097) - you deserved it (40308)

On 10/27/2012 at 12:04am - intimacy - by Cslouth - United States (New York)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8977) - you deserved it (37150)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was so engrossed in a phone call that I drove off without pumping gas after I'd prepaid $50. FML

#20121962
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6373) - you deserved it (35213)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:50am - money - by Dr_Gip - United States

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10543) - you deserved it (34917)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States



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