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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML

#20129288
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30506) - you deserved it (4793)

On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I was sitting on a rather small, uncomfortable bean bag while my friend was sitting on a nice chair. She asked if I wanted to switch seats, not so I could be more comfortable, but because she thought I was too fat and that I would burst the bean bag. FML

#20105161
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (4732)

On 10/07/2012 at 1:03am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

#20096947
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17794) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm - health - by liveviathetredmill - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (4669)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24308) - you deserved it (4666)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, I got to drop off my boyfriend at his newest place of residence: jail. FML

#20127580
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19382) - you deserved it (4660)

On 10/21/2012 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML

#20131082
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19823) - you deserved it (4609)

On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, as an introduction to the history of China, I asked my APA World History class to write a 500 word essay on a historical Chinese person. Out of a class of 18, five of them were about Mulan. FML

#20102571
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21413) - you deserved it (4597)

On 10/05/2012 at 5:47am - work - by desperate (woman) - Malta

Today, while I was using my computer, my cat ran up to the power strip, looked me in the eyes, and hit the power switch, turning everything off. She does this quite often. FML

#20116072
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25866) - you deserved it (4585)

On 10/14/2012 at 3:00am - animals - by stop it ninja - United States (Virginia)

Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML

#20127903
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17787) - you deserved it (4547)

On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20404) - you deserved it (4500)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my neighbors discovered Gangnam Style. Ever since I moved in, they've had an obsession with getting wasted by noon and blasting out shitty music all through the evening. I could just about deal with their dubstep fixation before, but now I just want to blow my own head off. FML

#20100208
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22011) - you deserved it (4499)

On 10/03/2012 at 5:33pm - misc - by Can you say "bandwagon"? (man) - United States

Today, a clown came over for my son's 8th birthday party. There was a moment of silence then laughter as everyone realized the clown and I were wearing the same plaid shirt. FML

#20117322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (4493)

On 10/14/2012 at 10:24pm - kids - by Randolph (man) - United States (Florida)



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