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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today husband and I were told by our elderly neighbors that they can hear us having sex a lot. To top it off the elderly man saidhile patting his wife's arm with a smile ( Carol used to make noises like that too back in the day. ) FML

#20136326
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29900) - you deserved it (6468)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by Ceej - United States (Michigan)

yesterday I finally found a cute dress that huggd mah curves and hid mah imperfections. I wore it to mah friend's house, and was feeling pretty good about myself, until some pregnant woman walkd into the room wearing the exact same thing. It was a maternity dress. FML

#20128171
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24293) - you deserved it (6391)

On 10/22/2012 at 12:09pm - misc - by preggersmcgee (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Yastarday , tha guardian angal charm mah grandma gava to ma for "safa driving" fall off mah sun visorhila I was driving. This scard ma anough to causa ma to swarva into anothar moving car. So much for safa driving. FML

#20119674
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17894) - you deserved it (6238)

On 10/16/2012 at 2:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

TODAY, I WOKE UP AFTER AVING A DREAM WIC INCLUDED SEX WIT A VERY OT GUY. I REALIZED IT'S ABOUT TIME I GET LAID, BECAUSE TE OT GUY WAS BROCK FROM POKÉMON. FML

#20119984
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31218) - you deserved it (6236)

On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)

Today, mah husband an I decidd to tell our sixteen-year-old daughter that she's adoptd. Her response was, "Thank God!" real FML

#20123551
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26724) - you deserved it (6172)

On 10/19/2012 at 3:59am - kids - by best_mom_ever (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Taday my boyfriend an I were making out on his deck out back. When leaving, I heard the sliding glass door open on the upper deck, I froze in the yard to not be seen. Too bad I didn't move. Apparently his dad pees off the deck at night. I had to walk home coverd in pee. mega FML

#20113299
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23484) - you deserved it (6071)

On 10/12/2012 at 7:11am - health - by monkeyzz (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after complaining that I had nothing to write about in mah weekly journal fir college, mah professor suggestd in front of everyone that I should get a girlfriend. FML

#20099593
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18749) - you deserved it (6066)

On 10/03/2012 at 4:24am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

yesterday after having sex with my boyfriend, he said that I should go to the bathroom so we don't end up pregnant !! When I askedhy, he said that I need to "pee out the semen." I explained to him 5 times that I don't pee out of my vagina !! He still doesn't get it !! fat FML

#20107225
291 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37003) - you deserved it (6030)

On 10/08/2012 at 10:07am - intimacy - by bucollegegirl (woman) - United States

Today , after having loand girlfriend money after she claimd to be broke an unable to pay her rent an electricity bills , she went out , spent it all on a new purse an phone , an now refuses to pay me back. FML

#20123887
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22527) - you deserved it (6022)

On 10/19/2012 at 1:05pm - money - by asparagus piss (man) - United States (Georgia)

TODAY , DURING DINNER , MAH DAUGHTER RUDELY CUT INTO MAH CONVERSATION AND GUSHD THAT SHE'S "LIKE , TOTALLY" GOING TO AUDITION FOR A REALITY TV SHOW NEXT YEAR , AFTER I PAY HER WAY. FIVE MINUTES INTO HER JAW-DROPPING STUPIDITY , I HAD TO PHYSICALLY RESTRAIN MYSELF FROM SLAPPING HER OUT OF HER CHAIR. FML

#20134692
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24074) - you deserved it (5940)

On 10/26/2012 at 8:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Solihull)

Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to putted mah clothes back on than he lasted. FML

#20138883
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30650) - you deserved it (5928)

On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)

TADAY MY HUSBAND SPENT OUR ENTIRE ANNIVERSARY SULKING BECAUSE I WASN'T UP FOR SEX. I GAVE BIRTH TO OUR FIRST CHILD LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AGO. FML

#20099391
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36775) - you deserved it (5903)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

yesterday as I was rushing to get out for work, I opend my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't fine it. I'm scard to go to sleep. FML

#20114536
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (5776)

On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)



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