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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML

#20125706
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (3735)

On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States

Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML

#20123973
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13227) - you deserved it (3656)

On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my husband thought it would be funny to tell my 10-year-old son that if he wanted to get girls, he had to do the Gangnam Style. My son has now non-stop been doing the Gangnam Style. FML

#20136801
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16359) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/28/2012 at 10:53am - kids - by friedbutter - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was going through Facebook photos of a pep rally in the hopes that I'd be in at least one of them. I was in one alright. Pulling out a wedgie. FML

#20096548
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12768) - you deserved it (3574)

On 10/01/2012 at 8:50am - misc - by awks - United States (Virginia)

Today, over a family dinner, my husband and I told everyone that I'm pregnant. My father frowned and said, "Again?", my 9-year-old daughter started crying, and her brother smirked and yelled, "Up the ass, no babies!" FML

#20136968
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/28/2012 at 12:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to pay my bus fare in very small change. After carefully counting out coins under the withering glares of a bus-load of people, I quickly slid them into the machine, and somehow ended up jamming it. FML

#20112067
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13228) - you deserved it (3479)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:49pm - money - by iblamethetories - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was at the mall and I noticed this guy staring at me from across the food court. He smiled and waved at me so I walked over there and tried to talk to him. He was looking at his girlfriend the whole time. FML

#20138654
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12733) - you deserved it (3468)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:59pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I completely shaved my head as a gesture for my boyfriend's mother, who was suffering from cancer and having a terrible time undergoing chemotherapy. Turns out she doesn't even have cancer, and my boyfriend thought I wouldn't have the guts to do it. FML

#20110360
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25732) - you deserved it (3465)

On 10/10/2012 at 11:05am - misc - by horriblejoke (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20768) - you deserved it (3461)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was kicked out of a job interview at a clothing store for "not dressing appropriately" for the occasion. I'd purchased my outfit from the same store just two days prior with my last $100. FML

#20113680
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16129) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/12/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by ClothesHorse (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I contemplated the ratio of cats I have to friends I have. I need more friends. FML

#20122007
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11687) - you deserved it (3437)

On 10/18/2012 at 1:33am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after therapy for obsessing over every woman who talks to me, all I could think about was how I could seduce my therapist. I think I still need a lot of help. FML

#20133155
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13956) - you deserved it (3436)

On 10/25/2012 at 7:09pm - love - by mental - United States

Today, I learned that despite having told them two years ago, my parents still aren't accepting of me being gay. I found this out when my mom called and asked if I was "cured" yet. FML

#20131666
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (3418)

On 10/24/2012 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Hawaii)



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