Today, I had sex with this guy I had been crushing on for five years. It took longer to put my clothes back on than he lasted. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21108) - you deserved it (4069)
On 10/29/2012 at 4:49pm - intimacy - by le_evan - United States (California)
Today, as I was rushing to get out for work, I opened my door just in time to witness a large snake slither into my home. I had no choice but to lock it inside and go to work. I've now spent several hours searching for it with my friends, and we can't find it. I'm scared to go to sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17735) - you deserved it (4047)
On 10/13/2012 at 2:35am - animals - by afraidtosleep - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after having a dream which included sex with a very hot guy. I realized it's about time I get laid, because the hot guy was Brock from Pokémon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (4039)
On 10/16/2012 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by L (woman) - Norway (Sor-Trondelag)
Today, I have so much ass-acne that it hurts to sit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21124) - you deserved it (4033)
On 10/04/2012 at 5:33am - health - by Chamorru (man) - United States
Today, I chaperoned a school dance. A song I knew came on, and, wanting to be the fun teacher, I danced around a little. The students then pointed and laughed. I graduated in '87 and high school still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15232) - you deserved it (4026)
On 10/04/2012 at 10:44pm - work - by highschoolsucks - United States
Today, my husband let me know he felt I was ignoring him by jabbing me in the right ear with his erect penis while I was Skyping with my mum overseas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24255) - you deserved it (3964)
On 10/10/2012 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I went to my local Walmart to grab a few groceries, and while at the checkout line I grabbed two chocolate bars for a snack. The cashier gave me a look and mumbled under her breath, "Surprise, surprise." I'm pregnant, asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21666) - you deserved it (3871)
On 10/23/2012 at 12:21am - misc - by bunintheoven (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, after weeks of wondering if my cat has a fetish for licking my bed covers, I finally witnessed him licking up an ant off of the covers. Turns out that my bed is infested with ants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16378) - you deserved it (3870)
On 10/29/2012 at 12:23am - animals - by lifelike (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after 6 months of training and going to the gym every day, I realized that the only thing I've lost is $300 worth of gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14071) - you deserved it (3818)
On 10/24/2012 at 9:09am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13098) - you deserved it (3814)
On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, on the first cold night of autumn, I realized I need a girlfriend because the only way I can stay warm is if I spoon with my dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12561) - you deserved it (3809)
On 10/22/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by sadguyme (man) - United States (California)
Today, my husband sweetly asked me, "You know what I'd really like to do if I had an extra $4,000?" Expecting a romantic answer, I asked what. He said, "I'd get you a tummy tuck." He still can't figure out what he said wrong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16568) - you deserved it (3728)
On 10/20/2012 at 8:22pm - love - by cargaljen (woman) - United States
Today, our kids left for the weekend so that my wife and I could have some much-needed alone time. We've been fighting a lot recently and really need some time to have fun together. Now it turns out that she doesn't want to be around me because of the fighting. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13175) - you deserved it (3649)
On 10/19/2012 at 2:27pm - love - by marriedtoacunt (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Monday 20 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
