Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5469) - you deserved it (15148)
On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, I bought a new car, and before I left, the dealer offered to help me set up the sync. I agreed, but I really wish I'd remembered that my Bluetooth name is TitsMcGee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3891) - you deserved it (15082)
On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States
Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7711) - you deserved it (14989)
On 10/27/2012 at 8:12pm - love - by RedFox12 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was involved in a 5-way conversation about the movie Inception. I nodded and agreed with things that were said, but couldn't admit that despite having seen it 4 times, I still haven't the foggiest idea of how to explain what it's about. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5808) - you deserved it (14613)
On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was getting out of the car when I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shed. I screamed and threw my bag. It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was my shadow on the wall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6085) - you deserved it (14258)
On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work, thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly, until someone at work told me that I was actually wearing a nightie. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8184) - you deserved it (13061)
On 10/06/2012 at 4:58am - misc - by Valentine_Beauty (woman) - United States
Today, I've been a vegan for a year. It's also the day that I met my dad's new best friend, who happens to be a retired butcher. They tried to pull an intervention on me for not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11441) - you deserved it (12954)
On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States
Today, I tried role playing with my boyfriend. As I came out in sexy lingerie, I announced, "I'm Natalia, a Russian spy fluent in 2 languages: Russian and your cock." He laughed so hard he practically pissed himself. The night ended in me doing his laundry. Alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21423) - you deserved it (12044)
On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7636) - you deserved it (11238)
On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States
Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15424) - you deserved it (10570)
On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After searching for the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was my breath. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11189) - you deserved it (10046)
On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)
Today, I realized that at age 54, I'm no longer young enough to go commando anymore. Every time I sneezed today, I peed myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13052) - you deserved it (9652)
On 10/05/2012 at 4:14am - health - by Darla (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I decided to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumped. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and cried out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushed in to see if I was okay. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15550) - you deserved it (9518)
On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)
Monday 17 June 2013
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