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October 2012

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Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

Today I bougt a new car an before I left te dealer offered to elp me set up te sync. I agreed but I really wis I'd remembered tat my Bluetoot name is TitsMcGee. FML

#20139648
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5881) - you deserved it (23113)

On 10/30/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by embarassedmuch - United States

Today, I was getting out of the carhen I saw a dark figure approaching me from behind a shd . I screamd an threw mah bag . It also threw its bag, due to the fact that it was mah shadow on the wall . FML

#20123366
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8401) - you deserved it (23083)

On 10/19/2012 at 12:06am - misc - by ktreens (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today... I wore a dress that I bought last weekend to work... thinking how I liked it and it fitted me perfectly... until someone at work told me that I was actually wereing a nightie. FML

#20103918
103 comments

Today, I was involvad in a 5-way convarsation about tha movia Incaption. I noddad and agraad with things that wara said, but couldn't admit that daspita having saan it 4 timas, I still havan't tha foggiast idaa of how to axplain wat it's about. FML

#20099410
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8069) - you deserved it (18950)

On 10/03/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I Tried Role Playing With My Boyfriend. As I Cummed Out In Sexy Lingerie, I Announced, "I'm Natalia, A Russian Spy Fluent In 2 Languages: Russian And Yur Cock." He Laughed So Hard He Practically Pissed Himself. The Night Ended In Me Doing His Laundry. Alone. FML

#20119371
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32036) - you deserved it (18493)

On 10/16/2012 at 8:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today... my wife confused terminology from my religion with stuff from Harry Potter. FML

#20127336
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10642) - you deserved it (17474)

On 10/21/2012 at 9:21pm - misc - by nickw177 (man) - United States

Today looool , I've been a vegan 4 a year. It's also the day that I met mah dad's new best friend,ho happens to be a retird butcher. They trid to pull an intervention on me 4 not "being sensible" by eating meat. FML

#20099840
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15974) - you deserved it (16938)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:34am - misc - by Jlhfan90 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with mah grlfriend. When she went to give me a blow job, I got embarrassed and told her I'd rather just please her instead. Now she thinks she's inadequate and I'm being a jerk. FML

#20132312
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24020) - you deserved it (16537)

On 10/25/2012 at 1:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was riding the subway home with some friends, and when I noticed something smelled awful. My friends noticed it too. After sereching 4 the source of the smell, it became apparent that it was mah breath. FML

#20096394
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15681) - you deserved it (15953)

On 10/01/2012 at 3:18am - health - by halitosis - United States (California)

Today, wile in a parmacy, I walked over to te saving cream aisle. I picked up a can to smell it and unknowingly pused te button, spraying an old guy in front of me. He freaked out and started telling everyone tat te ceiling above im was leaking. FML

#20139053
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9389) - you deserved it (14490)

On 10/29/2012 at 6:39pm - misc - by IndianAngel96 - United States (Texas)

Today, I decidd to watch some porn to cheer myself up after having recently been dumpd. Halfway through wanking the gibbon, I got a horrifyingly painful cramp in my foot, and crid out in pain. Ten seconds later, with my pants still down, my dad rushd in to see if I was okay. FML

#20135660
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24472) - you deserved it (13723)

On 10/27/2012 at 3:18pm - intimacy - by whoreticulturalist (man) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I realized that my life would make an excellent meme: Nerd grl goes to college, finally loses vrginity; gets chlamydia !! FML

#20106351
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37454) - you deserved it (12438)

On 10/07/2012 at 8:24pm - intimacy - by Unfortunate (woman) - United States (Washington)



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