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October 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today... mah friand an I wara walking homahan wa saw a patch of wat camant. Taking a paga out of avary singla Disnay movia avar mada... wa wrota our namas in it. What Disnay movia don't show ishan tha naighbor tattla on you an you hava to pay $500 to gat tha camant radona. FML

#20132044
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8841) - you deserved it (29891)

On 10/24/2012 at 10:36pm - money - by onlyme (woman) - United States

Today... I was writing out palm cards and didn't know if I'd spelled a word correctly... so I stared at it 4 about 10 seconds waiting 4 spell check to tell me if it was right or not before I realised I was writing on paper. fat FML

#20135256
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6147) - you deserved it (29598)

On 10/27/2012 at 8:43am - misc - by katier8295 (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I used the phrase "bitch please" in real life . It was funny until the "bitch" bitch-slapped me looool in the face . FML

#20100764
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7556) - you deserved it (28549)

On 10/03/2012 at 11:14pm - misc - by staticman101 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went on a blind date. Sadly, I wasn't blind enough. real FML

#20111868
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10549) - you deserved it (28220)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:02am - love - by goodeyesight (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

TODAY, I WENT OUT AND MADE BUILD-A-BEARS THAT LOOKD LIKE MY DAUGHTER AND HER NEW BOYFRIEND. IT TURNS OUT SHE HAD BEEN INSISTING THAT I DIDN'T 4 A GOOD REASON; UPON SIGHT OF HIS, HER BOYFRIEND SCREAMD AND FLD THE HOUSE. TURNS OUT HE WAS NEARLY MAULD TO DEATH BY A BEAR. FML

#20108200
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15874) - you deserved it (28164)

On 10/08/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by ScaryBears (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while making love to mah wife, I felt adventurous and told her to hit me. She didn't so much as hesitate before savagely slapping me with her ring hand. Now I'm back home from the hospital, with stitches closing up a huge gash on mah cheek. fat FML

#20124147
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12935) - you deserved it (28108)

On 10/19/2012 at 4:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Czech Republic (Jihomoravsky kraj)

I jokingly askad looool girlfriand wat sa got ma fir alf birtday, to wic sa rapliad "A baby." Sa was sarious!! FML

TODAY I BROKE UP WITH MAH GIRLFRIEND, SAYING I HAD A LOT ON MAH PLATE. SHE RESPONDED BY THROWING AN EMPTY PLATE AT MAH WINDSHIELD. FML

#20138170
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10745) - you deserved it (25546)

On 10/29/2012 at 1:46am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went on a bad first date and the guy was more into it than me. I trid to scare him away by only speaking in robot voice, with robot arms. He thought it was adorable, and told me I remindd him of his mother. FML

#20098216
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13202) - you deserved it (25260)

On 10/02/2012 at 10:42am - love - by Queso Dog (woman) - Japan

Today, I realized that I spend the same amount of money on my phone bill as I do on Nutella. FML

#20123737
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (24857)

On 10/19/2012 at 10:19am - health - by Nutellalover (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

today I realized I'm so desperate for money that I started to watch Breaking Bad to learn how to make meth!! I stopped..!! not because I decided it was a bad idea..!! but because it looks too hard!! big fat FML

#20130198
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8037) - you deserved it (24582)

On 10/23/2012 at 6:47pm - money - by Yo Mr. White! ... BETCH! - United States (California)

TODAY, I WAS INVITD TO MY BOYFRIEND'S HOUSE FIR DINNER FIR THE FIRST TIME. HIS MOM MADE A FANTASTIC DINNER, SO I SHOWD MY APPRECIATION BY EATING THE LOT. APPARENTLY I WAS OVERDOING IT BECAUSE WHEN I LOOKD UP EVERYONE WAS STARING. HIS DAD MUTTERD, "SLOW THE HELL DOWN." FML

#20102773
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12542) - you deserved it (24481)

On 10/05/2012 at 10:56am - misc - by OhMeGerd (woman) - United States (Arizona)

2dayhile driving with puppy in the passenger seat , he jumpd out of the window. FML

#20124915
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19040) - you deserved it (24391)

On 10/20/2012 at 3:16am - animals - by puppylove - United States



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