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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML

#20062193
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20138) - you deserved it (4315)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was showing my boyfriend some stuff I bought that day: a new thong and a bag of his favorite brand of peanuts. He was more excited about the peanuts. FML

#20053819
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17514) - you deserved it (4306)

On 09/02/2012 at 9:38am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML

#20052788
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16648) - you deserved it (4261)

On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23370) - you deserved it (4218)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML

#20094225
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26596) - you deserved it (4205)

On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (4173)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting for my wife in a mall when some kids came and sat near me, wearing band t-shirts. I recognized some, as I was into The Smiths and Black Flag in my youth. I tried to strike up a music-fan chat with them. "Fuck off, grandad" and "Ew, pedo" is all I got in return. FML

#20087854
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (4130)

On 09/25/2012 at 7:54am - kids - by HenryRollinsForPresident (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I found a tiny, featherless baby bird. I knew it was impossible, but I tried to keep it alive through the day. Before I could get it to the wildlife center, it died, and when I got all choked up over it, my mom started laughing at me and saying how "weak" I was. FML

#20077707
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23690) - you deserved it (4113)

On 09/18/2012 at 12:19pm - animals - by Birdwatcher (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend picked me up from school. It was an unusually sweet gesture from him, and I was flattered. That is, until he told me to sit my ass in the back, so his dog could ride in front with him. FML

#20082214
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20869) - you deserved it (4109)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:10pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML

#20057019
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29888) - you deserved it (4069)

On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)

Today, everyone at work asked about the awful, twisted wound on my hand. I was too embarrassed to admit to having torn my skin apart with a pair of tweezers while trying to remove a splinter. FML

#20055992
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (4053)

On 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by frustrated (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, it's day two of my two-month summer job on a Mediterranean cruise ship. I'm incredibly seasick, and the ship is still docked. FML

#20060408
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17793) - you deserved it (4019)

On 09/06/2012 at 12:51pm - work - by SummerJob (woman) -

Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML

#20053572
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17006) - you deserved it (4011)

On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)



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