Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (12874) - you deserved it (3773)
On 09/24/2012 at 3:35pm - work - by martinaaah - United States (Washington)
Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML
I agree, your life sucks (10710) - you deserved it (3745)
On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)
Today, my clumsiness has reached such legendary proportions in my family, that when I visited my grandparents, I found they'd put stickers all over their glass doors, so I wouldn't have "yet another painful accident". FML
I agree, your life sucks (12951) - you deserved it (3629)
On 09/01/2012 at 4:50pm - misc - by fuck yuo (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland)
Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (19138) - you deserved it (3525)
On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)
Today, I told my husband that I'm tired of feeling like his "blow-up doll". His response was to honk my boob and make squeaking noises. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16830) - you deserved it (3468)
On 09/08/2012 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was icing an injured foot with a frozen water bottle as the doctor directed me. When I was done, I picked the bottle up and immediately dropped it on the same injured foot, which is now swollen and bruised. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13082) - you deserved it (3424)
On 09/02/2012 at 2:27am - health - by CC - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15024) - you deserved it (3410)
On 09/13/2012 at 2:02am - animals - by anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (3406)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I had a serious talk with my boyfriend about our relationship troubles. He stopped me in the middle of a sentence with a huge fart. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15743) - you deserved it (3404)
Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21905) - you deserved it (3397)
On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. I've been secretly taking Welsh lessons as a surprise for him, so when I was getting close, I whispered the Welsh for "Don't stop." He pulled out and accused me of cheating on him with his best friend. He won't believe anything else. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23102) - you deserved it (3344)
On 09/04/2012 at 3:54am - intimacy - by gingerbetty - United Kingdom (Swansea)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17677) - you deserved it (3293)
On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, one of my regulars approached me at work, arms extended for a hug. He's always in a bad mood, so I figured for once he wasn't grumpy and I enthusiastically hugged him. Turns out he was just stretching his arms. He told me I was crazy and pretty much ran out of my store. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11836) - you deserved it (3272)
On 09/24/2012 at 8:52pm - work - by MLAA (woman) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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