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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20679) - you deserved it (4406)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25270) - you deserved it (4400)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I didn't take her pet rock seriously. FML

#20058507
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21043) - you deserved it (4306)

On 09/05/2012 at 4:14am - love - by steve (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I realized just how clingy my boyfriend is, when he pulled out in the middle of sex, lay down and hugged me, and said in his "adorable" voice that he didn't really want to have sex, but cuddle. I wouldn't mind if it didn't happen so often. FML

#20088123
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26669) - you deserved it (4301)

On 09/25/2012 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by orgasmsareoverratedanyway (woman) - Norway (Nordland)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to sing at karaoke. I sang a romantic love ballad to him. He dedicated Rick James' "Super Freak" to me. FML

#20091434
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (4263)

On 09/27/2012 at 8:19pm - misc - by MB101 (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing the Spiderman theme song. FML

#20093277
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19942) - you deserved it (4228)

On 09/29/2012 at 5:14am - intimacy - by BabyG2222 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14548) - you deserved it (4191)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, while my husband and I were arguing, he walked away in the middle of my sentence yelling, "Remember babe, you're only my current wife!" FML

#20064293
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20636) - you deserved it (4184)

On 09/09/2012 at 4:34am - love - by JB (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, after a visit with my mom, I started feeling sick. I meant to send her a text asking if she had gotten sick lately, but I accidentally sent a text asking if she had gotten dick lately. FML

#20054615
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (4143)

On 09/02/2012 at 7:47pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, someone brought cake to class. Trying to get some attention from the guy I have a crush on, I asked if he wanted my piece of cake. He accepted it, and then offered it to another girl. FML

#20077941
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21748) - you deserved it (4028)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:07pm - love - by emselin - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11959) - you deserved it (4002)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

#20051346
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19306) - you deserved it (3995)

On 08/31/2012 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17881) - you deserved it (3972)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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