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September 2012

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Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26453) - you deserved it (5872)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28336) - you deserved it (5865)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23628) - you deserved it (5860)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18331) - you deserved it (5805)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20715) - you deserved it (5801)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16571) - you deserved it (5767)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16392) - you deserved it (5575)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16504) - you deserved it (5574)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26390) - you deserved it (5326)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30278) - you deserved it (5192)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28588) - you deserved it (5051)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)



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