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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I held hands with a male mannequin in a department store, just to remember what holding hands felt like. FML

#20069351
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18281) - you deserved it (4144)

On 09/12/2012 at 8:26pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13984) - you deserved it (4133)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16820) - you deserved it (4081)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13709) - you deserved it (4079)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12184) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It would have been a lot sexier had our chihuahua not decided to rim his ass as he thrust into me, causing him to break out into a case of the giggles. FML

#20069788
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you deserved it (4049)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (4025)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11378) - you deserved it (3974)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11518) - you deserved it (3944)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16894) - you deserved it (3894)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10664) - you deserved it (3738)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18033) - you deserved it (3658)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)



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