Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20188) - you deserved it (6070)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that the car I got a great deal on a few days ago, needs a new transmission. I'm now the proud owner of a very large and very expensive paperweight. FML

#20066208
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17403) - you deserved it (5945)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:48pm - money - by BuspassBob - United States

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26594) - you deserved it (5883)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, after what I thought was an amazing sex session with my boyfriend, he let out a big sigh and told me I need to watch more porn. FML

#20067539
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28473) - you deserved it (5880)

On 09/11/2012 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by apparently inexperienced (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my 5-year-old, overweight Siberian Husky tackled me because he thought that my lipstick was food. FML

#20091999
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18443) - you deserved it (5828)

On 09/28/2012 at 6:53am - animals - by emilyhendrix0414 - United States

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (5813)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, my car keys decided to play hide and seek. Good news: I found them under my bed. Bad news: it was after my job interview was scheduled to start. FML

#20064518
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16485) - you deserved it (5598)

On 09/09/2012 at 11:01am - misc - by Can't Win - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was eating out at a restaurant with my family. My dad had drained most of our bottle of wine, so thinking he'd be a little less uptight than usual, I reached over to pour myself some. He swatted my hand away and started yelling at me for being a "degenerate drunk". FML

#20091024
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16627) - you deserved it (5588)

On 09/27/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by fuck you, dad (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27531) - you deserved it (5469)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, my boyfriend told me he masturbates to the thought of me swimming in pancake syrup. FML

#20094500
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30936) - you deserved it (5266)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I heard of an inevitable world-wide bacon shortage on the news. FML

#20089182
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29178) - you deserved it (5152)

On 09/26/2012 at 2:57am - misc - by bacon lovers worst nightmare - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend noticed that I looked upset and asked me what was wrong. I told her I was sexually frustrated. Her response? "What are you telling me for?" FML

#20055368
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27165) - you deserved it (5024)

On 09/03/2012 at 5:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: