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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19851) - you deserved it (7108)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML

#20084083
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19015) - you deserved it (7068)

On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34229) - you deserved it (6816)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27490) - you deserved it (6745)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I injured myself in the geekiest way possible; I managed to crush my nipple while closing my laptop. FML

#20090663
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21398) - you deserved it (6592) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/27/2012 at 12:10am - health - by Display - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29715) - you deserved it (6554)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML

#20066967
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22750) - you deserved it (6511)

On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31752) - you deserved it (6501)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44953) - you deserved it (6466)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (6413)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while trying to rouse my sleeping boyfriend for some morning sex, he came. FML

#20064384
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25802) - you deserved it (6140)

On 09/09/2012 at 8:03am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I went out for lunch with a guy I hadn't seen in a couple of months. He seemed to be staring at my chest quite a bit, but I wasn't too bothered by it. Turns out there was still an XL sticker on my shirt. FML

#20074089
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20165) - you deserved it (6063)

On 09/16/2012 at 3:00am - love - by distracted - Canada (British Columbia)



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