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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I walked in to my apartment to see my husband sitting there with his toes painted pink. When I asked him why, he said, "I wanted to feel pretty." This is the man who is about to be the father of my child. FML

Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML

#20070204
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13832) - you deserved it (5295)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I was sitting in on a boring presentation at work. I yawned and shifted in my chair, accidentally sitting on my testicles. I shrieked in pain and spent the next five minutes choking back tears, while my boss told me to shut my mouth and stop fucking around. FML

#20066447
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14487) - you deserved it (5242)

On 09/10/2012 at 5:20pm - work - by kevcng (man) - United States

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20334) - you deserved it (5239)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I made a Facebook status asking if anyone wanted to hang out. A couple hours later, I logged back in, only find the status with no likes and only one comment. The comment said "no-one." FML

#20093499
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14714) - you deserved it (4940)

On 09/29/2012 at 11:28am - misc - by Robert - United States (California)

Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML

#20082014
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24757) - you deserved it (4789)

On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I met a really cute girl at a club. At first, she told me I was cute. Then, she slurred that I look like "a spork on legs." Then she sprayed the inside of my mouth with vomit as she kissed me. FML

#20054504
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (4662)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:31pm - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my daughter and her boyfriend excitedly told me that after months of trying they are finally pregnant and that I'm going to be a grandmother. This would be great news if they weren't 15. FML

#20077962
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35390) - you deserved it (4574)

On 09/18/2012 at 4:20pm - health - by GMD (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I woke up feeling ecstatic, because last night, my crush had told my best friend he likes me a lot. I sent him a text message telling him the feeling is mutual. A little while after sending it, it hit me that his confession had only been part of a dream. FML

#20073337
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (4572)

On 09/15/2012 at 6:16pm - love - by hannah (woman) - New Zealand (Marlborough)

Today, I unintentionally moaned during my prostate exam. FML

#20092313
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24477) - you deserved it (4519)

On 09/28/2012 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands (Gelderland)

Today, the girl I've secretly loved for years finally noticed me. That is, after I ran over her foot with my truck. FML

#20065697
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14027) - you deserved it (4357)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:26am - love - by Disappointed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had just bought a new $60 basketball and decided to go try it out. Five minutes into playing, the ball decided to roll into the hands of a little girl, who then said, "Mine". I thought it was cute, until she skipped over to her parent's car and they drove off. FML

#20068584
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23100) - you deserved it (4179)

On 09/12/2012 at 4:52am - kids - by Bitchjackedmyball - United States (Hawaii)



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