Today, I wanted to take a bubble bath with the jets in the bath that I haven't used in years. When I got in, it took me a while to realize that the jets had squirted out slime and a family of unidentifiable bugs that have probably been living there for years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17867) - you deserved it (7298)
On 09/06/2012 at 2:38am - misc - by juliannamelissa - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, at work, I saw a van in our car park with "Hurlz Wagon" painted on its side. Laughing, I told the customer who owned it that I loved the name, and I asked was there a funny vomit story behind it. She didn't laugh, and told me it was her family name. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11033) - you deserved it (6945)
On 09/26/2012 at 7:40am - work - by big mouth (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10652) - you deserved it (6790)
On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (6782)
On 09/09/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by crabmunch15 - United States (California)
Today, I had my first accident in 5 years of driving. I clipped a Ford Fiesta, mirror to mirror. His mirror is totally destroyed. Mine is fine. I was so stressed afterwards that I reversed straight into another car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14779) - you deserved it (6519)
On 09/13/2012 at 1:25pm - money - by Arcam (man) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)
Today, I came home to find my eight-year-old son had basically set fire to the kitchen, after trying to practice some kind of stupid shit he'd seen on TV called "fire bending." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14826) - you deserved it (6477)
On 09/22/2012 at 2:11pm - kids - by SadDad (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my dad forced me to take part in a pathetic act of revenge against our neighbors, who keep parking their 4x4 in front of our house. He made me stand watch while he kept trying to slash their tires. An hour later, we were waiting for my mom to bail us out of jail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14842) - you deserved it (6432)
On 09/28/2012 at 6:21pm - misc - by GEE, THANKS DAD (woman) - United States
Today, I found out what it feels like to have a cotton swab shoved up my cock's piss-pipe. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (6379)
On 09/04/2012 at 11:09am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (6252)
On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)
Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15474) - you deserved it (6099)
On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)
Today, after months of believing my house is haunted, and years of being scared of the dark, I finally had to admit to myself that the only way I can go to the bathroom in the middle of the night is if my cat follows me and sits outside the door. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13031) - you deserved it (5957)
On 09/22/2012 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, after pouring my heart out to a beautiful girl on Facebook, and having her return the favor, she typed a final message that read, "That was my friend. Please f*ck off now. Thanks." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17278) - you deserved it (5697)
On 09/10/2012 at 11:13pm - love - by TheNaturalOrderofThingsSucks (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, while at work, I helped my ex-husband pick out a ring for the girl he cheated on me with. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25588) - you deserved it (5687)
On 09/21/2012 at 11:11am - love - by Sad ex-wife (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)
Monday 17 June 2013
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