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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
320 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17675) - you deserved it (19280)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8678) - you deserved it (17304)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (16626)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

#20093112
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14701) - you deserved it (15197)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19577) - you deserved it (12425)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20038) - you deserved it (12382)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (12254)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22160) - you deserved it (12143)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend learned that calling someone a "stupid bitch" under your breath while staring right at them from six feet away works very differently in my house than at hers. She also learned my sister has one hell of a punch. FML

#20084737
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27259) - you deserved it (10872)

On 09/23/2012 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16173) - you deserved it (10445)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, my dog, who has been specially trained to go for help when I'm having a seizure, went to alert my parents downstairs that I was having an emergency. The "emergency" was me masturbating. FML

#20052579
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (10268)

On 09/01/2012 at 1:56pm - intimacy - by thewhompingwillow (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15263) - you deserved it (9587)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)



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