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September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML

#20060059
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4945) - you deserved it (14784)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States

Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML

#20075179
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7950) - you deserved it (14571) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML

#20076781
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13334) - you deserved it (13216)

On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I tried to bleach my upper lip hair. I now have a bright red mustache. FML

#20093112
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12700) - you deserved it (13112)

On 09/29/2012 at 1:06am - misc - by mustachioed (woman) - United States

Today, I had a date with a guy from the Internet. I'm 6ft1, which tends to put potential dates off, so I'd slyly knocked a few inches off my description. Turns out he'd done the same. He'd added a whole foot to his height. I had to crouch to talk to him. FML

#20071299
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (11888)

On 09/14/2012 at 4:26am - love - by TallGal (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend in the bathroom, we heard a knock at the door, then her father's voice. I had to fake constipation noises until he left. FML

#20053940
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20232) - you deserved it (11497)

On 09/02/2012 at 11:38am - intimacy - by scot - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19599) - you deserved it (11072)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was refused employment at a liquor store. Their reason? I'm a regular customer and they're afraid I'll drink all their profits. FML

#20060961
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6471) - you deserved it (10829)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:49pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I decided to clean my face of unwanted visitors, and spent my shower popping the pimples on my cheeks. Twenty minutes later, I remembered that I was showering ahead of a date with my girlfriend. My cheeks now look like the crater-filled surface of Mars. FML

#20066193
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14885) - you deserved it (9965)

On 09/10/2012 at 12:19pm - health - by greeple - Singapore

Today, my father bet me $200 that since my boyfriend is "such a stupid shit," he wouldn't be able to locate Paraguay on a map. I gladly accepted the bet. Not only did he not know where it is, he actually accused us of making the country up. FML

#20063309
322 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14639) - you deserved it (9354)

On 09/08/2012 at 3:16pm - misc - by dating a fucking idiot (woman) - United States

Today, I snuck out to go see my girlfriend. When I got to her house, I left my bike out front and we went on a nice walk around the block. We passed a homeless-looking woman going the opposite way. About ten minutes later, the same woman passed us, on my bike. FML

#20064141
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17054) - you deserved it (9115)

On 09/09/2012 at 1:38am - misc - by crabmunch15 - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class. One minute I'm listening to a lecture, and twenty-five minutes later, I'm waking up screaming in agony in front of everyone after biting my tongue in my sleep. FML

#20092439
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12972) - you deserved it (8850)

On 09/28/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. They jokingly asked me if I was only with him for his money. I didn't hear them properly so I just smiled and nodded. They now think I'm a gold digging bitch. FML

#20060240
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20209) - you deserved it (8700)

On 09/06/2012 at 8:46am - love - by Ashley - Australia (Queensland)



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