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September 2012

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Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML

#20094526
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6466) - you deserved it (20765)

On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML

Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML

#20064184
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6730) - you deserved it (19942)

On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I decided to use hand sanitizer to mask the smell of my armpits at work. Not only did it intensify the stench, my boss thinks I have a drinking problem, because I vaguely smelled of alcohol. I was too embarrassed to explain. FML

#20063186
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7519) - you deserved it (18880)

On 09/08/2012 at 1:26pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML

#20087001
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14708) - you deserved it (18869)

On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML

#20057702
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5844) - you deserved it (18860)

On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States

Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML

#20066014
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7843) - you deserved it (18229)

On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while I was leaving the grocery store, I realized my ignition key was missing from my pocket. After searching the car and retracing my steps, I walked all the way home. Later, when we went to retrieve the car, the key was sitting in plain sight on the passenger seat. FML

Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5049) - you deserved it (16608)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6401) - you deserved it (16542)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, at work, I was talking to a Scottish woman when my coworker and I both told her we were also Scottish. To this she replied, "We Scottish people get around." I then said, "Tell me about it, I'm one of four siblings from my dad, he definitely gets around." She was talking about travel. FML

#20069784
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5401) - you deserved it (16483)

On 09/13/2012 at 1:19am - work - by jcedarholm (woman) - United States (California)

Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML

#20083501
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8877) - you deserved it (15055)

On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)



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