Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9570) - you deserved it (15705)
Today, I was trying to convince my flatmate to agree to let me get us a kitten. After gushing about how cute they are, and showing her loads of pictures, she just stared at me and said, "You really need a penis inside you now and again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10553) - you deserved it (15340)
On 09/24/2012 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by foreveralone (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)
Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Right as she orgasmed, she screamed out Megatron's name. When I later confronted her about this, she said that she always had a crush on him and wanted to be queen of the Decepticons. I've been dating this lunatic for a year and half now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12460) - you deserved it (15236)
On 09/03/2012 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by Loserbot (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6869) - you deserved it (14569)
On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)
Today, I sprained my ankle trying to prove that I can walk in high heels. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4792) - you deserved it (14313)
On 09/06/2012 at 2:46am - health - by dumbass (woman) - United States
Today, my boyfriend graduated from boot camp. After the ceremony, I rushed over and tried to jump into his arms. This would have been romantic if he was expecting it. Instead, he fell over and we crashed onto the floor in front of everyone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5170) - you deserved it (14282)
On 09/30/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by oohrahgal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I saw a small bug on the wall, so I decided to send it straight to the insect afterlife by smashing it with a book. The book crushed it, and caused my clock to come free from the wall and crash down onto my TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7747) - you deserved it (14106) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 09/16/2012 at 6:50pm - animals - by romainmain - France (Champagne-Ardenne)
Today, I tripped over my dog and landed on my face while trying to prove to my father that I can walk and chew gum at the same time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5451) - you deserved it (13914)
On 09/09/2012 at 2:15am - misc - by anonymous - United States
Today, I was cycling with my uncle and became increasingly frustrated as we got further and further from our intended destination. It took me a while to figure out that I had somehow lost my uncle and was following a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7108) - you deserved it (13583)
On 09/10/2012 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was assigned to write a short story about what we imagine Earth to be like in 500 years, and daily conflicts people experience. My teacher loved it and read it aloud to the class. He asked for my inspiration, and I didn't have the heart to say that I ripped off Mass Effect 3. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5528) - you deserved it (13458)
On 09/12/2012 at 12:24am - misc - by brianfantana32 - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband revealed that he found me drunk and shoe-less in a shrub in our front garden last night, sending dirty texts to my new employee. I've recently had my meds switched and apparently can't drink now. My husband's pissed, my shoes are gone, and I can't look the new guy in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6878) - you deserved it (13289)
On 09/21/2012 at 6:56am - misc - by for_fs_sake (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, I collected my students' notes in class to check them. One girl, who is always drawing weird anime crap in her sketchbook, turned in just one piece of paper that read, "FUCK YOUR CLASS." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12705) - you deserved it (12708)
On 09/17/2012 at 8:21pm - work - by Mrs. Teacher (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, trying to be smooth, I slipped the girl I like a piece of paper with my phone number written on it. A while later, she slipped it back to me and left the room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (12455)
On 09/22/2012 at 12:22pm - love - by pimpdaddyX (man) - Malaysia (Selangor)
Monday 20 May 2013
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