Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

September 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML

#20069142
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9890) - you deserved it (28048)

On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML

#20053719
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11211) - you deserved it (27164)

On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)

Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML

#20080363
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18094) - you deserved it (26550)

On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)

Today, I found out why the girl I like won't give me the time of day. Apparently, I called her ugly and pushed her into a puddle when we were in kindergarten. FML

#20091625
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17025) - you deserved it (26259)

On 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm - love - by thatwas10yearsago (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

#20095198
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9776) - you deserved it (26201)

On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML

#20066828
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6537) - you deserved it (26166)

On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

#20083352
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25106) - you deserved it (25477)

On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML

#20071482
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15309) - you deserved it (25427)

On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML

#20058304
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7683) - you deserved it (25409)

On 09/05/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Gigi (woman) - United States

Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML

#20060053
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6866) - you deserved it (24457)

On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML

#20080189
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8321) - you deserved it (24149)

On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend invited me over to "play with his lizard." After excitedly rushing across town, I realized this wasn't a euphemism, he actually bought an Iguana. FML

#20068225
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11226) - you deserved it (24043)

On 09/11/2012 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Iguana (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, the iPhone app I downloaded that plays cricket noises during the night, has attracted a horde of actual crickets into my bedroom. FML

#20062154
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12554) - you deserved it (23987)

On 09/07/2012 at 6:32pm - misc - by Gurl - Ireland (Dublin)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: