Today, my boyfriend requested that I shave my lips so I spent an hour in the shower carefully removing every trace of pubic hair. Turns out he wanted me to shave my moustache, not my carpet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8773) - you deserved it (18071)
On 09/08/2012 at 12:03am - intimacy - by sasquatch (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I found out there's a rumor going around that my smoking hot co-worker and I had sex over the weekend. I'm not nearly as pissed off about the rumor as I am by the fact that I can't remember it because I was too drunk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6385) - you deserved it (17728)
On 09/12/2012 at 5:58pm - intimacy - by bruisedego31 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my 2-year-old told me he found a new finger puppet. It was a used condom. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (17579)
On 09/20/2012 at 3:00am - intimacy - by myself - United States (California)
Today, I spent five minutes sitting in my car, panicking and tearing my purse apart because I couldn't find my keys. I then found them. They were in the ignition, and the car was running. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4707) - you deserved it (17204)
On 09/10/2012 at 10:04pm - misc - by mrs14 - United States
Today, my little sister came home crying because someone had shown her a video about the Slender Man. Trying to calm her down, I explained to her that he wasn't real, just like Santa Claus. She looked up at me and said "Santa's not real?" It's been 3 hours, and she hasn't stopped crying. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8209) - you deserved it (17133)
On 09/02/2012 at 6:07am - kids - by The Horrible Older Sister - United States (Arizona)
Today, my boyfriend tried to spice things up by sneaking into the shower with me. Instead, he walked in on me pooping. I only had the shower running because I was afraid he would hear me taking a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11780) - you deserved it (17025)
On 09/14/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7040) - you deserved it (16900)
On 09/30/2012 at 1:57pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)
Today, my crush asked to use my phone so he could Google something. Flattered that he wanted to use my phone, I agreed. After he was done, he handed it back with a weird look. I later realized he had found himself in my top searches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5900) - you deserved it (16842)
On 09/05/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Gigi (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17090) - you deserved it (16417)
On 09/22/2012 at 10:06am - intimacy - by holyshitbatman - United States (Illinois)
Today, I locked myself out of the house I was house-sitting. An hour later, and my fifth attempt at climbing the fence, I figured I'd try the door one more time. Turns out I was turning the handle the wrong way and the door wasn't locked in the first place. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4872) - you deserved it (16101)
On 09/06/2012 at 2:39am - misc - by ohhhemmgee - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went to my dentist of four years. After the cleaning, the hygienist and I scheduled my next appointment, and she briefly left the room, leaving my file open on the computer. The data in a field called "NOTE" caught my eye: "Sissy. Freak. Always late. Ask about family or will flirt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6239) - you deserved it (15989)
On 09/20/2012 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I took a pregnancy test. I was disappointed it was negative, as my fiancé and I have been together for four years and have a strong relationship. He danced with happiness when he discovered the test was negative and tried to high-five me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9373) - you deserved it (15954)
On 09/30/2012 at 5:30am - love - by BeforeItWasCool - United Kingdom
Today, I saw a bug on a stranger's arm and as a knee-jerk reaction smacked it. It took me a second before I realized it was actually a loose scab. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4821) - you deserved it (15779)
On 09/04/2012 at 6:02pm - misc - by CantPublish - United States
Monday 20 May 2013
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