Today, I had a few friends over. Wanting to seem cool, I yelled at my girlfriend to get me a beer. She chucked four bottles at my head. All my friends cheered her on. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4466) - you deserved it (51353)
On 07/19/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to buy some beer using my fake ID, when the cute cashier and I started flirting. When he asked me how old I was, I said without thinking, "Nineteen." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4685) - you deserved it (45983)
On 07/23/2012 at 4:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, my boyfriend thought it appropriate to let me know that doing the "duck face" in my Facebook pictures "highlights my mustache." FML
I agree, your life sucks (4983) - you deserved it (45368)
On 07/17/2012 at 7:30pm - love - by mustachio101 (woman) - United States (Alabama)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I didn't want to go out with him because I was having a fat day. After ten minutes of fighting, he threw a ring box on the floor and stormed out. I basically refused his proposal because of my body issues. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6626) - you deserved it (44662)
On 07/22/2012 at 9:33pm - love - by henley -
Today, I'm accused of vandalizing a cop car during a night of partying, and in so doing, violating my parole. While talking with my lawyer, who I spent all my savings on, I said he could hire better than his hideous secretary. Turns out she's his wife. I think I'm now more screwed than ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4068) - you deserved it (39417)
On 07/09/2012 at 5:06pm - misc - by jillie minaj (woman) - United States
Today, I continued my habit of saying, "It smells like lung cancer over here" any time I see a smoker. This guy turned out to be an amateur MMA fighter, and I was his "workout" for the day. I guess his lungs are doing fine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7419) - you deserved it (36552)
On 07/25/2012 at 12:10am - health - by xd3box - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I realised a second too late why trying to hack a popcorn kernel out from between your teeth with a steak knife is really a bad idea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3722) - you deserved it (35129)
On 07/22/2012 at 6:45pm - misc - by fmyarse (man) - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)
Today, I had my end of year physics exam. I wasn't sure about some stuff, so I hid my notes and textbook in the bathroom. Halfway through, I got up, went to the bathroom, and as soon as I picked up the book, forgot what I was looking for. I can't even cheat right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4621) - you deserved it (34657)
On 07/02/2012 at 3:23am - misc - by Anonymous -
Today, I was having an argument with my girlfriend in front of our friends. I didn't want her to spoil my good time, so I ignored her until she disappeared. She re-appeared thirty minutes later just to throw a punch that would make Muhammad Ali jealous. Our friends' reaction? They clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6217) - you deserved it (34276)
On 07/03/2012 at 7:51am - misc - by ali (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my dad was making coffee for the family. Half-way through, he excused himself to the bathroom, so for a laugh, I discreetly poured a load of salt into his drink. When he served us, I drank a mouthful and doubled over hacking. My dad barked, "I wasn't born yesterday, son." FML
I agree, your life sucks (3499) - you deserved it (34118)
On 07/14/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Nigeria (Lagos)
Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5095) - you deserved it (33979)
On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)
Today, my mom once again commented on how I need to work out. It has come to the point that I now walk around in exercise clothes and have a bottle of water/fake sweat to put on, just so she thinks I work out. This is how lazy I am. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4084) - you deserved it (33656)
On 07/26/2012 at 10:48am - health - by maddiebauer - United States (Illinois)
Today, I wanted to take a romantic bath with my boyfriend. I set up the candles and hot water, but I had to take a dump. After my business was done, I called him into the bath. He walks in, sniffs, glances at the toilet and leaves. Guess what I forgot to flush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5901) - you deserved it (32963)
On 07/31/2012 at 11:53am - love - by TheMissMuffly (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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