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June 2012

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

#19826563
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9164) - you deserved it (15719)

On 06/21/2012 at 11:07pm - misc - by yeah - United States

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

#19784207
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9800) - you deserved it (15685)

On 06/13/2012 at 9:17pm - misc - by ww2freak - United States (Virginia)

Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML

#19854055
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10745) - you deserved it (15013)

On 06/27/2012 at 1:29am - health - by purpleskylight - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I mistook my dog's head for the gear shift while tearing down the highway. FML

#19829657
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5345) - you deserved it (14434)

On 06/22/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by hakura madada - Japan (Tokyo)

Today, I remember that I changed my phone lock password when I was still half asleep this morning, but I don't remember what I changed it to. FML

#19796326
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11291) - you deserved it (13936)

On 06/16/2012 at 9:44am - misc - by sadphonegirl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to meet my girlfriend's parents at her sister's play. The moment I introduced myself, I realized that her father was my probation officer. FML

#19764456
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24766) - you deserved it (13487)

On 06/10/2012 at 5:16am - love - by fernie vazquez - United States (California)

Today, after watching Hulk with my friends, we spent a good half hour discussing exactly how enlarged Bruce Banner's package would be in his Hulk state. I couldn't hide my excitement, and now my friends won't stop teasing me. FML

#19871781
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4749) - you deserved it (13202)

On 06/30/2012 at 2:36pm - misc - by rs (woman) - Egypt

Today, I got into a huge fight with a girl at school. My mom and dad decided to punish me by letting my three older brothers pick out my wardrobe for the next week. FML

#19812569
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18593) - you deserved it (13094)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:38pm - misc - by Shelby - United States (Illinois)

Today, I pulled a neck muscle while head-banging. I wasn't at a concert, and I'm not in a heavy metal band, but I do pretend that I am while I'm in the shower. FML

#19744443
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7084) - you deserved it (12828)

On 06/06/2012 at 2:21pm - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

#19731681
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10221) - you deserved it (11661)

On 06/04/2012 at 8:45am - love - by boohoo (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, I realised that my boyfriend calls me "bitch" more often than he calls me by my actual name. FML

#19801177
328 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22026) - you deserved it (11100)

On 06/17/2012 at 10:58am - love - by rosabelle91 (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18522) - you deserved it (10988)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I foolishly told my husband that I know he's been holding back sexually, and that I was willing to indulge any sexual fantasies he may have. Now it seems that tonight, I'll be responding to the name "Fluttershy". FML

#19846265
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18963) - you deserved it (10858)

On 06/25/2012 at 6:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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