Today, I said to my boyfriend that he makes the same noises when he smells bacon as he does when we have sex. Now everytime we have sex, he whispers "Bacon..." in my ear. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11019) - you deserved it (23304)
On 06/02/2012 at 6:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)
Today, I was having a funny conversation with a guy I had met on Xbox. I told him the state I lived in, and he said, "Don't tell me that, I might stalk you." He wasn't kidding. He has somehow found out my phone number, and my address. He says he's going to send me flowers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10443) - you deserved it (22955)
On 06/22/2012 at 9:08am - misc - by ExplosiveDildo (woman) - Afghanistan
Today, at a job interview, my interviewer bent forward and I admired his ass. When he turned, I couldn't tell if he caught me or not. At the end of the interview he shook my hand in congratulations of getting the job, then said "Yes, I do work out." I have to see him everyday now. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (22702)
On 06/26/2012 at 2:18am - work - by cmck932012 - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got lunch with a girl I really like. On the way, for some idiotic reason I decided it would be a good idea to show off by jumping up to high-five the red hand on a traffic sign. I ended up slipping and slamming full-force into the pole. I now have a bruise on my face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4662) - you deserved it (22203)
On 06/21/2012 at 9:28pm - love - by a stupid jackass (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I went to the bookstore and saw a stunning girl reading. I walked over and picked up a book, thinking our two books were the same category, hence a good conversation starter. She looked at me, and I pointed at my book and smiled. After that, she left. It was a sex position book. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5590) - you deserved it (22182)
On 06/27/2012 at 12:39am - misc - by deli Shoppe - United States (California)
Today, I was walking home with my boyfriend. There's a short cut to my house by jumping a fence but he insisted that we take the long way because, "Girls don't jump fences." To prove him wrong, I jumped the fence. I fell and broke my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10695) - you deserved it (21396)
On 06/05/2012 at 12:27am - love - by Josie - United States (Kentucky)
Today, and for the last week, I've resorted to driving myself to the nearest corner store to take my daily dump. I'm doing this because I recently moved in with my boyfriend, and I'm afraid he'll be disgusted at how often I clog the toilet. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9436) - you deserved it (21378)
On 06/21/2012 at 6:02am - health - by TheDumper (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I saw my reflection in the computer screen and I thought I looked quite nice. I tried to take a screenshot. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4771) - you deserved it (21335)
On 05/31/2012 at 11:25pm - misc - by Mikaela - United States
Today, I used a prank app, where you shake the cell, and it makes the screen looks cracked. I ended up losing my grip on the phone. It went flying, and it is now cracked for real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7152) - you deserved it (21271)
On 06/10/2012 at 2:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was chatting to a co-worker, upon whom I have a serious crush. It was going really well, until he said "irregardless", as if it's actually a proper word. This grammatical abomination really ticks me off, and I actually had to fight back the urge to beat some damn sense into him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8078) - you deserved it (20801)
On 06/13/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by Rebecca (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4215) - you deserved it (20777)
On 06/07/2012 at 8:10am - health - by Darwin_Award_Winner (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I snuck out of the house for a night on the town. When I got back, I found all the doors and windows bolted shut. My sister's laughing face at my bedroom window suggests I'll be spending the rest of the night outside. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7218) - you deserved it (20305)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:15pm - misc - by cock sauce (man) - Switzerland (Luzern)
Today, I woke up to a weird feeling on my face. Thinking it was a bug, I slapped at it. It was my freshly-inserted nose ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6448) - you deserved it (19872)
On 06/11/2012 at 4:44pm - health - by Ciara (woman) - Ireland (Cork)
Monday 20 May 2013
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