Today, I was cashiering, and a customer's change came to $5.51. She looked pretty stinking rich, so I just gave her $5.50. She demanded the extra penny, and I asked if she really needed it. She said, "No, but they do, asshole," and dropped her $5.51 in the charity donation box. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6363) - you deserved it (90794)
On 06/13/2012 at 12:00pm - money - by ouch - United States (Florida)
Today, I realized just how much of a bitch I am when I grounded my son for not telling me what he got me for my birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4293) - you deserved it (57519)
On 06/28/2012 at 4:29pm - kids - by MeanMother - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was lecturing my high school students on the importance of a good education. I pointed out the janitor in the hall and told them if they didn't stay in school, they'd end up like him. Then one of my students raised her hand and reminded me that the janitor I pointed to was her dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4649) - you deserved it (49104)
On 06/21/2012 at 12:11am - work - by daddy'sgirl - United States (Tennessee)
Today, while driving home from work, I noticed the driver next to me was happily chatting on her phone. I fucking despise these would-be murderers, so I slammed my horn to signal my disgust. She panicked and swerved straight into my car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13880) - you deserved it (43761)
On 06/09/2012 at 5:35pm - misc - by k - United Kingdom (Telford and Wrekin)
Today, my best friend and I broke up with our respective girlfriends, so we could go on holiday and meet lots of new women. Instead, within a few hours, he got back with his ex, and they're planning their own holiday together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5236) - you deserved it (38460)
On 06/17/2012 at 12:08pm - love - by JPTK (man) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Today, after a long night of partying, I fell asleep, while my bride was delivering her vows. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4585) - you deserved it (38103)
On 06/09/2012 at 7:04pm - love - by UnluckyGroom (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I got a new set of acrylic nails put on. While driving home, I had an urge to pick my nose. My car then went over a speed-bump. I now feel like my brain is bleeding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6672) - you deserved it (35175)
On 06/11/2012 at 8:42am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7776) - you deserved it (34383)
On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I burned my nose. How? I tried sniffing a lit candle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (33323)
On 06/26/2012 at 1:44am - health - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4906) - you deserved it (32493)
On 06/15/2012 at 5:43am - animals - by Anna (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my parents felt the need to lecture me about how people who "smoke the reefer" are a "waste of life" and will never amount to anything. I was baked during the entire conversation, and actually ended up breaking down in tears, because I realized they were totally right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6816) - you deserved it (31957)
On 06/24/2012 at 5:45pm - kids - by :( (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10559) - you deserved it (31489)
On 06/06/2012 at 12:02pm - intimacy - by Rob (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9973) - you deserved it (31454)
On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Monday 17 June 2013
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