Today, my son was fired from his new job, which was going to support us since I recently lost mine. His excuse was, "Conflict of interest." He was a mascot for a fast-food restaurant and refused to dance around. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13069) - you deserved it (8313)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:00pm - kids - by Shianna (woman) - United States (Maine)
Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17945) - you deserved it (7441)
On 05/07/2012 at 4:38pm - intimacy - by me (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I purposely wore a red shirt to Target just so people would talk to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18093) - you deserved it (7232)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:44am - misc - by reddd - United States
Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26456) - you deserved it (7176)
On 05/03/2012 at 3:41pm - intimacy - by dentistrygirl - United States
Today, not only did my boyfriend set my hair on fire, but he attempted to put it out by dumping bong water on my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16563) - you deserved it (7133)
On 05/16/2012 at 10:19am - love - by Coykoi - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, my boyfriend and I went out on his boat. We got in the water and started to have sex when a fishing boat came by and chummed. There's nothing more romantic than bloody fish guts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (7009)
On 05/23/2012 at 5:38am - intimacy - by Fire0fisis (woman) - Hong Kong
Today, I was at a restaurant with my kids. I told my 13 year old about how the very first time she said she loved me. She was 2 and it was at this very restaurant. I told her the details and even started tearing up a little. She didn't even look up from her cell phone and said, "That's fab, ma." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21295) - you deserved it (6894)
On 05/10/2012 at 4:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37273) - you deserved it (6750)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States
Today, my friends were coming to pick me up from volleyball practice. When their car pulled up, I jumped in. It was really quiet, so I looked up, only to find I had gotten in the wrong car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15222) - you deserved it (6724)
On 05/26/2012 at 7:00pm - misc - by HorcruxDelight73 - United States (Washington)
Today, while volunteering at a local homeless shelter, I asked the woman next to me how long she'd been homeless. She works there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13731) - you deserved it (6703)
On 05/21/2012 at 1:28am - work - by HomelessGirl1 - United States (Nevada)
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21128) - you deserved it (6595)
On 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm - intimacy - by 504-A1 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after declining an amazing job offer that pays more than double what I make now in order to accept a promotion my boss offered me if I stayed, I asked when I would receive the promotion and pay raise. She snorted and said, "You thought I was serious about that?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21404) - you deserved it (6540)
On 05/30/2012 at 5:37am - work - by Fackwork (man) - United States (Iowa)
Today, while sitting at a red light, I guiltily nibbled on a chocolate bar and looked around to make sure no one saw me cheating on my diet. A police car pulled up, I panicked, stepped on the gas, and ran the light. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6116) - you deserved it (6541)
On 05/12/2012 at 12:27am - misc - by Snickers (woman) - United States (California)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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