Today, I went to a party dressed as a zombie. Everyone admired my hilarious "zombie dancing". Those were my regular dance moves. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13895) - you deserved it (3284)
On 05/10/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by tinydancer (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I'm cheering myself up about being newly single by having a sleepover with my best friends. Their boyfriends have all decided to sleep over as well though, so I'm currently alone in a corridor with nothing but the sound of all my friends having loud sex to keep me company. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29116) - you deserved it (3236)
On 05/07/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by coffeeshopgirl (woman) - United Kingdom
Today, my parents decided on my punishment for failing an English test. No deodorant for a week. They think they're so hilarious, they told all their friends and now it's all over Facebook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20988) - you deserved it (3224)
On 04/30/2012 at 10:21pm - misc - by sockmonkey (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got my colonoscopy results back. I had hoped they'd show what's been causing my stomach pains for the last few weeks, but instead it turns out that my colon is healthy and normal. I basically got cornholed for no goddamn reason. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14211) - you deserved it (3223)
On 05/06/2012 at 5:57pm - health - by billiams15 (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I thought I felt my baby kicking for the first time. After excitedly exclaiming this fact to the few people around me, I involuntarily let out the loudest fart. Not the baby kicking, just gas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15961) - you deserved it (3172)
On 05/19/2012 at 7:05am - health - by GothicAngel17 - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I figured out why my doctor repeatedly warned me to keep regular bowel movements while I recover from childbirth. I now have an anal fissure. It's like giving birth all over again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15476) - you deserved it (3171)
On 05/30/2012 at 4:25pm - health - by Terri-Lynn (woman) - Canada (Alberta)
Today, I was really stressed, so I tried to let it out by crying. It lasted about 30 seconds, and I was making fun of myself the whole time. Even my subconscious thinks I'm pathetic. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13482) - you deserved it (3170)
On 05/17/2012 at 10:37am - health - by Username (man) - Australia
Today, I realized I have more in common with a cantaloupe than I do with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13916) - you deserved it (3166)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:16am - love - by muddled (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was to give a presentation to several of my company's senior employees. The moment I stood up, I accidentally let rip a monstrous fart that lasted a good two or three seconds. When I tried to utter an apology, I clammed up and let out a whiny grunt. They were not amused. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15932) - you deserved it (3165)
On 05/23/2012 at 4:38pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (15541) - you deserved it (3164)
On 05/01/2012 at 9:58am - work - by Nice (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I sarcastically pointed out a book to my mom, titled "Living Successfully With Screwed Up People." She already has it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14104) - you deserved it (3153)
On 05/03/2012 at 1:45pm - misc - by screwedupkid -
Today, an exchange student was telling us how he once used a black light to detect semen stains on his "abstinent" ex-girlfriend's face. I called him out on the obvious lie, saying it's an old urban legend. He wigged out, screamed that I'm a "bastarding shite-wank" and ran out of class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12196) - you deserved it (3147)
On 05/04/2012 at 5:53pm - intimacy - by Garry (man) - United States
Today, I was on a rowing machine at the gym, listening to a podcast. Something funny was said, I laughed, lost my balance and fell off, with my feet still stuck in the footrests. Someone had to come and help me off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11724) - you deserved it (3112)
On 05/30/2012 at 10:06am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Ireland (Cork)
Monday 17 June 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
