Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5473) - you deserved it (59969)
On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)
Today, my husband drew a penis on every one of my cigarettes. It's a new pack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5775) - you deserved it (45577)
On 04/21/2012 at 11:15pm - misc - by Jenn P (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I paid for someone else's pee so that I could pass my drug test. I didn't pass the drug test. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6343) - you deserved it (44990)
On 04/24/2012 at 4:29am - work - by xharmonyx - United States
Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9700) - you deserved it (39860) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France
Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6400) - you deserved it (38553)
On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was taking a really big test in a class that I was failing. It was worth at least 7 grades so I studied my butt off. During the test, a girl with huge breasts sat down next to me and I couldn't stop staring. My test got confiscated because they thought I was cheating. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7282) - you deserved it (35118)
On 04/05/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by tatatest (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10324) - you deserved it (34331)
On 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm - misc - by pathetic (man) - Poland (Mazowieckie)
Today, I was Skyping with this kid, when his girlfriend started arguing with him. They do this every other week, and there was a bet on when they'd finally break up. I egged the guy on and told him not to take her shit. She ended up dumping him. Now I feel like an asshole, and all for a lousy $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3992) - you deserved it (34290)
On 04/13/2012 at 7:14pm - love - by c*nt (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years texted me saying "I can't wait to f*ck later." I replied saying, "Couldn't we just spend time together?" Her response was, "What are you, a girl?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (34135)
On 04/12/2012 at 12:06am - intimacy - by girly (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my wife sent me to the store to pick stuff up so we could make BLTs. I got the bacon, but couldn't remember what else went into them, so I bought an avocado and napkins. When I got back home, my wife very slowly and sarcastically explained what BLT stands for. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5074) - you deserved it (33440)
On 04/07/2012 at 3:40pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, after a lot of begging, I finally convinced my husband to shave all of his pubes off. Now I can't even look at it without laughing, and he's mad at me for making him do it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4178) - you deserved it (33299)
On 04/30/2012 at 4:25am - intimacy - by kdehshaden (woman) - United States
Today, I caught myself staring at my grandmother's cleavage. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7203) - you deserved it (29868)
On 04/07/2012 at 2:41am - intimacy - by bman (man) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I introduced my Spanish friend to a girl I've had a crush on for a long time. Because he only spoke Spanish and she only spoke English, I was the translator. The first thing he said to her was, "You are really pretty." I translated it as "I like other men." Later, they found out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6794) - you deserved it (28769)
On 04/15/2012 at 2:49am - love - by needurlove (man) - United States (Idaho)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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