Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (8683)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I got sexually excited thinking about what kind of donuts I wanted to get in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15951) - you deserved it (8651)
On 03/31/2012 at 11:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I accidentally took my mouthwash like a shot. I don't know what burned more, when it went down or when it came back up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12285) - you deserved it (8558)
On 03/27/2012 at 10:00am - health - by halfasleep (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I decided to finally try out the veggie slicer I bought a few months ago to make healthy homemade potato chips. Along with the sliced potatoes, I am now missing about a quarter inch chunk of skin from the side of my hand and quite a bit of blood. At least the chips were good. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11039) - you deserved it (8452)
On 03/15/2012 at 3:53am - health - by missgayle319 - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend dumped me. Apparently my nose hair scares him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15047) - you deserved it (8316)
Today, my mum cleaned my room. When I got home she yelled at me for having condoms. I'm 24 years old and in a long term relationship. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20927) - you deserved it (8162)
On 03/19/2012 at 3:36am - intimacy - by rahrahcakes (woman) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I was warning a girl in my art class to be careful with a Stanley knife, as she had managed to cut her finger quite badly. Just as I said it, I sliced my finger open with a Stanley knife. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12822) - you deserved it (8118)
On 03/20/2012 at 12:33am - health - by insightful - Australia
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15173) - you deserved it (8051)
On 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Ireland
Today, my husband started getting frisky, but I wasn't in the mood, so I said I'd just like to cuddle and talk. He decided a good topic of conversation was whether or not it would be physically possible to smoke my grandma's ashes from the cremation urn. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14620) - you deserved it (7822)
On 03/14/2012 at 9:32pm - misc - by solyana vr1 - United States
Today, I asked a co-worker if he'd cover for me while I slipped out to cash some money at the bank. When I got back, I found out that when he said "yeah, sure" he actually meant "yeah, sure, I'll tell the boss and get your dumb arse suspended". FML
I agree, your life sucks (13383) - you deserved it (7698)
On 03/15/2012 at 12:13pm - work - by davey d (man) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (20152) - you deserved it (7538)
On 03/24/2012 at 1:30am - intimacy - by purple - United States (Texas)
Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16677) - you deserved it (7496)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, my girlfriend thought it would be a good idea to go down on me with chewing gum in her mouth. I spent next hour and a half getting Orbit out of my pubes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18609) - you deserved it (7436)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:11pm - intimacy - by unendowed - United States (Texas)
Monday 17 June 2013
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