Today, I panicked when I saw a spider on my shoulder from the corner of my eye. It was a birthmark. The same one that has been there for the last 23 years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6277) - you deserved it (12253)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:54am - misc - by lct722 - Canada (Saskatchewan)
Today, I was taking a lifeguard certification test. I nearly drowned halfway through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7237) - you deserved it (11641)
On 03/28/2012 at 1:30am - work - by LiveGuard - United States
Today, I was sitting on the couch with my fiancé, when he jumped up and viciously sat on my face. I then heard, smelled, and tasted the most violent, horrific fart known to man. I still can't get the taste out of my mouth, and he can't stop laughing. I'm getting married to this guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20632) - you deserved it (10888)
On 03/14/2012 at 1:18am - love - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I dislocated my elbow chasing my cat around the hardwood floors of my house in knee-high socks and wiping out going around a corner. The doctors suggested that I not tell people how it happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8063) - you deserved it (10793)
On 03/28/2012 at 8:00am - health - by hikari_chan_xo - United States (Michigan)
Today, my fiancé and I decided to have a romantic rendezvous on the trampoline in our backyard. Or at least it was romantic, until I accidentally rolled off and all but crushed our dog. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8318) - you deserved it (10584)
On 03/18/2012 at 3:18pm - love - by Jacklyn - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14115) - you deserved it (10525)
On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I went to Hooters for lunch. My food was brought to me by a man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19147) - you deserved it (10415)
On 03/16/2012 at 1:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States
Today, I got pulled over for drunk driving. This is the second time its happened. I was completely sober both times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16349) - you deserved it (10001)
On 03/14/2012 at 3:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I went driving for the first time. I made it twenty miles to my step mom's house, and didn't stop until I was inside the garage. Too bad the garage door was closed when I got there. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11077) - you deserved it (9803)
On 03/11/2012 at 5:15am - misc - by meganisabella - United States
Today, the subject of penis size came up while my boyfriend and I were chatting. He asked if he was big, and I replied that whatever size he was, he was enough to satisfy me. Apparently, that was the wrong answer, and he spent the rest of the night sulking because I didn't say he was enormous. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18237) - you deserved it (8846)
On 03/21/2012 at 12:25pm - intimacy - by tellingthetruth (woman) - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)
Today, I gave myself paper cuts on the sides of my mouth while licking the cover of a pudding cup. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10558) - you deserved it (8773)
On 03/29/2012 at 11:00pm - misc - by scarletscarface (woman) - United States (California)
Today, an old lady savagely shoved me out of a queue, after I'd been waiting for twenty minutes. I couldn't bring myself to fight back or say anything, and ended up dragging my sorry arse to the back of the queue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11304) - you deserved it (8744)
On 03/30/2012 at 12:44pm - misc - by dannyboy (man) - United Kingdom (Cornwall)
Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30261) - you deserved it (8664)
On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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