Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14713) - you deserved it (3864)
On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I joined a dating site. The first guy it recommended is the stalker I met on the last dating site I used. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (3764)
On 03/27/2012 at 8:25am - love - by thammer (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23271) - you deserved it (3694)
On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I read an article with tips on how to give girls full-body orgasms and I decided to test a few on my girlfriend. Instead of having a mind-blowing orgasm, she started cackling and said I looked like a giraffe trying to bob for apples. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15339) - you deserved it (3680)
On 03/26/2012 at 4:56pm - intimacy - by JC (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20517) - you deserved it (3593)
On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)
Today, while coming out of Walmart, I dropped a $50 bill. Some kid came running up after me yelling, "Hey mister, you dropped this!" as he ran past me laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22798) - you deserved it (3566)
On 03/17/2012 at 9:04am - money - by dhbeaver - United States (Virginia)
Today, I was waiting for a call from a job I had applied for. When the phone rang, I ran as fast I could up the stairs, falling and slamming my shin on the way. The call? It was a women asking me, "Hi, do you have time to learn about our lord Jesus Christ?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (16840) - you deserved it (3563)
On 03/22/2012 at 12:56am - work - by Atheist (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I gave my husband an expensive watch. The first words out of his mouth were, "You didn't use our joint bank account for this, right?" He then asked if I still had the receipt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15763) - you deserved it (3547)
On 03/19/2012 at 7:50pm - money - by moneycatious (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, my eleven year old daughter called me a moron, after I told her she was dead wrong when she claimed that rabbits lay eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17852) - you deserved it (3484)
On 03/30/2012 at 2:44pm - kids - by James (man) - United States
Today, while walking down the street, I saw a man attacking a woman in an alley. I ran to help, and shoved the man away from her. Except it turns out he wasn't attacking her; he was getting it on with his fiancée. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22795) - you deserved it (3469)
On 03/28/2012 at 1:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24722) - you deserved it (3420)
On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore
Today, I was walking to the bus in my favorite jeans, and I felt a uncontrollable itch in my leg. I scratched and it went away, but then I felt something moving on my leg. I hadn't worn my jeans in so long that a spider had decided to make it a nest. FML
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On 03/09/2012 at 3:30am - health - by Rissa Warrington - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, a bunch of my friends have been accepted to various colleges while I've been denied to the past 5. To cheer me up, my mom drove me to McDonald's. While we were in the drive-thru, she asked them if they had any job openings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21347) - you deserved it (3394)
On 03/18/2012 at 3:07am - misc - by pwib - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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