Today, I got my braces put on. This is the second time I've had them. The first time was after my cousin opened a car door in my face. This time a jock punched me in the mouth for saying that Reese's taste the same as Snickers peanut butter. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (4207)
On 03/14/2012 at 4:12pm - health - by braceface - United States
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14648) - you deserved it (4186)
On 03/08/2012 at 2:13am - misc - by thatchick3333 - United States (California)
Today, I got back to work at my hospital after some sick leave. The first jackass to waste my time was a guy with leg lacerations. This, he claimed, was because he tried to break a samurai sword over his leg as part of a bet. It's day one and already I want to kill myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12479) - you deserved it (4174)
On 03/13/2012 at 10:32pm - work - by Simms (man) - United States
Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28392) - you deserved it (4125)
On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I broke my little toe. It got stuck in my panties as I struggled to get a leg through. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16231) - you deserved it (4123) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, I was laying down in bed when my puppy decided to bite my ear. As I started laughing and pulling him off I noticed one of my $200 earrings got pulled off with it. And now I wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22397) - you deserved it (4084)
On 03/17/2012 at 10:16am - misc - by lizzie1833 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my stomach muscles are still sore from yesterday. Not because I was doing sit-ups or working out or anything, but because I have to work that hard to take a dump. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13793) - you deserved it (4033)
On 03/05/2012 at 12:12am - health - by wtbfiber (man) - United States
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17807) - you deserved it (4014)
On 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm - misc - by skid kid (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29044) - you deserved it (3933)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, my hatred for IKEA reignited when I rammed my knee into my hotel bathroom's plexiglass counter top while I was drying myself off. Their interior designer must have have been suffering brain damage when she matched everything with the floor tiles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9850) - you deserved it (3910)
On 03/02/2012 at 4:06pm - health - by Skyra (woman) - Portugal (Setubal)
Today, I went to a Mexican restaurant with my family. I got stuck trying to decide whether I should get the fajitas or the tacos. I ended up getting the tacos because I didn't want the fajitas to come in sizzling, and I didn't want to "make a scene". My social anxiety has hit a new low. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14684) - you deserved it (3863)
On 03/03/2012 at 10:09pm - misc - by mexicandelicacy (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (3806)
On 03/23/2012 at 10:30pm - intimacy - by justgreat - United States (Florida)
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend, and ended up sitting next to this girl who wouldn't stop sneezing. Grossed out, I asked my boyfriend if we could switch seats. After doing so, the girl immediately stopped sneezing and started flirting with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23210) - you deserved it (3691)
On 03/23/2012 at 3:39am - love - by Hana (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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