Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6848) - you deserved it (81870)
On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7804) - you deserved it (53662)
On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States
Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6708) - you deserved it (47153)
On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States
Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8011) - you deserved it (41473)
On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States
Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7283) - you deserved it (38894)
On 02/24/2012 at 10:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I had to leave the movie theater early because I couldn't fit in the chairs. I guess I'll see it when it comes out on DVD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11652) - you deserved it (38103)
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5872) - you deserved it (36355)
On 01/31/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was speaking to an old friend and I asked her how her mother was. She replied, "She passed away, you came to her funeral last month." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6811) - you deserved it (34973)
On 02/20/2012 at 5:01am - misc - by elizabethyeo - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4881) - you deserved it (33533)
On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -
Today, I found out why you shouldn't drop instant mashed potatoes in a fish tank, especially when you have expensive fish. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5153) - you deserved it (32958)
On 02/22/2012 at 11:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11624) - you deserved it (32187)
On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States
Today, I was so busy checking my phone for live bus arrival times I didn't notice the bus pull up, let the people beside me on and drive away. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5232) - you deserved it (31805)
Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7725) - you deserved it (31652)
On 02/03/2012 at 7:48am - misc - by Jodie - Australia (Victoria)
Sunday 12 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog 
Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
