Today, I picked up a hitchhiker. He was well dressed, and seemed trustworthy. As soon as he got in, he pulled out a gun and stole my wallet and car. All of this occurred in front of a sign warning against picking up hitchhikers. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8639) - you deserved it (57292)
On 01/04/2012 at 1:28am - money - by hitchhiked - United States (California)
Today, I attempted to cheat on a test by writing some notes on my hand. During the test I had a question. I raised my hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5407) - you deserved it (54862)
On 01/19/2012 at 6:26pm - misc - by tiptoesjohnson -
Today, while driving to my girlfriend's house, I passed up a stop sign without stopping. A car passing by honked. I honked back several times and flipped them the finger. Turns out it was my girlfriend's dad trying to say hi. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7113) - you deserved it (50888)
On 01/10/2012 at 3:50pm - misc - by Tom Ali - United States
Today, I was cooking with super hot ghost peppers. The package said "After handling them not to touch your eyes, nose or pets". They should've added "penis" to that list. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9824) - you deserved it (48630)
On 01/06/2012 at 9:22pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was on Skype with the guy I like. After a while of being on Facebook I forgot I was on webcam to him and started picking my nose. He ended the call. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11755) - you deserved it (44635)
On 01/05/2012 at 2:35pm - love - by louise (woman) - United Kingdom (Bristol)
Today, I guess I accidentally left Facebook open on my work computer while I went to the bathroom, because my boss updated my status to "Unemployed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (10940) - you deserved it (43685)
On 01/10/2012 at 10:34am - work - by Needsanewjob (man) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I made a drunken bet with friends that I could pour lighter fluid on my hands, light it, and shake it out before I got burned. I lost. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4850) - you deserved it (43670)
On 01/27/2012 at 1:48am - health - by batsu (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26555) - you deserved it (42227)
On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, my girlfriend dumped me because I have never read any of the Harry Potter books. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25094) - you deserved it (40509)
On 01/12/2012 at 12:36am - love - by Nate (man) - United States
Today, I met my son for the first time since I had to put him up for adoption over two decades ago. I wanted to make amends and get to know him. Instead, all I got to know was how well he can throw a punch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16161) - you deserved it (37928)
On 01/13/2012 at 8:38pm - kids - by me (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my wife made a joke about the size of my package, so figuring all's fair in love and war, I bought some laxatives to prank her with. They took a lot longer to work than I thought, and I ended up lying in bed, listening to my wife shitting her guts out in the bathroom for over an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5020) - you deserved it (37276)
On 01/27/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by smith (man) - United Kingdom (York)
Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41075) - you deserved it (36325)
On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I sold my Xbox and Kinect to a guy. I forgot that sometimes I'd play Dance Central naked, and the Kinect would make videos. This guy now has videos of me, naked, badly dancing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10016) - you deserved it (34387)
On 01/13/2012 at 12:05am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Monday 20 May 2013
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