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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came inside a girl's vagina by accident. Neither one of us wants her to be pregnant, and I had to spend half an hour with her sitting on my face, while I sucked my own cum out of her. I don't even know if this will work. FML

#21524955
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7601) - you deserved it (40421)

On 02/10/2016 at 9:12pm - intimacy - by nickncik (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

#21523525
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11793) - you deserved it (23973)

On 02/06/2016 at 10:36pm - work - by FailingMyCourse - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I found out that people are notified when you list them on Twitter. I've been listing people as "Interesting" and "Stupid". FML

#21524626
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8205) - you deserved it (17414)

On 02/09/2016 at 11:08pm - misc - by Shiet - Singapore

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14540) - you deserved it (11421)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15552) - you deserved it (10639)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19148) - you deserved it (6948)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19063) - you deserved it (6673)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML

#21521941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17213) - you deserved it (6277)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16065) - you deserved it (5926)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19413) - you deserved it (4868)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16664) - you deserved it (4576)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18529) - you deserved it (4305)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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