Choose the period

All time / Top of the month / Top of the week / Top of the day
August 2016

Choose a category

Today, after two weeks of intense detective work, I found out my wife isn't cheating on me after all. She really has just been going out and playing table tennis with her friend like she said. Who the hell even plays table tennis? FML

by Anonymous / 08/23/2016 at 8:40am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I thought I'd save some money by doing my own electrical work. When I turned the power back on, it caught fire. FML

by chewsef / 08/08/2016 at 11:22pm / United States (California) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I took a drug test. Not only did I fail the drug test, but I mostly missed the sample cup and got urine all over my pants. FML

by heck / 08/12/2016 at 9:57am / Health

Today, I walked into a wall, smashing my laptop into the top of my eye socket. This was all because I was carrying my laptop, phone and chocolate mug cake, all while trying to watch Netflix on said laptop. I feel like a 2016 cliché. FML

by justplaindumb / 08/03/2016 at 8:48pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friends told me they have been able to see all my BDSM likes in their Facebook feeds. My family and coworkers also follow me. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2016 at 5:21am / Ukraine (Kyyiv) / Miscellaneous

Today, I made myself a snack. I took a seemingly clean plate from the sink which had been used earlier for scrambled eggs. Only after I'd made the snack did I remember I let my dog lick the plate clean. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2016 at 5:25pm / Animals

Today, I got a bad review on my work's Facebook page. The girl said I was very rude and I should never work with the public. I was trying to flirt with her. FML

by Bg2466 / 08/14/2016 at 11:17pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I admitted to my girlfriend that I had cheated on her. She didn't tell or get mad, oh no. She looked at me for a few seconds then burst out laughing and called me a liar. FML

by whoops / 08/15/2016 at 12:07am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I was practicing for a Cambodian ceremony. I'm American. My fiancée is Cambodian. While doing the practice, I had six people in my face telling me what to do, all at the same time. I got frustrated and accidentally blurted out, "This is fucking retarded." Now the whole family is mad at me. FML

by rcoale1983 / 08/14/2016 at 1:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, while at a baseball game, I was telling my friends about my underaged drinking experience at my sister's bachelorette party. It wasn't until I was done telling the story that I realized the Dean of my college was right behind us, looking right at me. So much for a good first impression. FML

by fuckingcool / 08/18/2016 at 5:19pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I ordered two double cheeseburgers from McDonald's and asked for one of them without pickles so they would think I was ordering for two people. Both burgers were for me. FML

by hamburglar / 08/11/2016 at 2:46pm / United States (Texas) / Health

Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML

by cullenthegreat / 08/25/2016 at 12:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I'm working an 8-hour shift on less than 3 hours of sleep. In order to stay awake, I chugged 3 Red Bulls. Now I can't feel my face. FML