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March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13927) - you deserved it (48541)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I jokingly sent my girlfriend a link to an article about giving better head. She didn't think it was funny, and has since sent me numerous articles about the female orgasm, and I just got a link to the Wikipedia article about the clitoris. FML

#21372045
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12981) - you deserved it (44759)

On 03/10/2015 at 7:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (43815)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14295) - you deserved it (42452)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16106) - you deserved it (40905)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14775) - you deserved it (40028)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (33007)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I thought the ring my boyfriend bought for me had fallen off while emptying the trash into the bin. After panicking and emptying a week's worth of rubbish onto the ground, I found my ring safe and sound. On my other hand. FML

#21372086
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17986) - you deserved it (25651)

On 03/10/2015 at 8:33pm - love - by MyPrecious... (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while driving, I saw someone's hubcap blowing away behind me on the highway. I thought it was funny and sort of chuckled to myself. Later I realized it was my hubcap. FML

#21375160
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15942) - you deserved it (24010)

On 03/15/2015 at 5:12pm - misc - by epicvixen - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I spent 5 hours organizing my porn collection on my computer. What the hell am I doing with my life? FML

#21373875
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22805) - you deserved it (21098)

On 03/13/2015 at 3:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Bahrain (Al Manamah)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
268 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42768) - you deserved it (19257)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I saw my boss heading my way at work. He has a "no food in the office" policy, so I quickly scarfed down my pop-tart. I ended up choking on it so hard that I threw up. FML

#21369280
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22680) - you deserved it (17552)

On 03/06/2015 at 12:41pm - work - by f*ck (man) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I tried to boycott an 80's theme party by wearing my regular clothes. Everyone said they loved my costume. FML

#21373989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24298) - you deserved it (17403)

On 03/13/2015 at 6:39pm - misc - by jking2z (man) - United States



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