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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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February 2012

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Today, I had to change my mobile number because I was getting abused by a guy, so I sent my new number to all of the people on my contact list. Including him. FML

#18982881 (134)

I agree, your life sucks (6811) - you deserved it (28318)

On 02/03/2012 at 7:48am - misc - by Jodie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I sat in my boss' office as he bitched me out for being "too sarcastic" to our customers. After nearly half an hour of him criticizing my "piss-poor attitude," he asked me what I was going to do to fix it. Without thinking, I said, "Your mom." Now I'm jobless again. FML

#19042299 (214)

I agree, your life sucks (1548) - you deserved it (14037)

On 02/10/2012 at 4:33pm - work - by great - United States

Today, my parents were out, so I lit up my first ever joint. I got so stoned out of my mind that when my dad came back home and asked what the smell was, I said a stray cat had left an upper-decker in the toilet. He found the joint in my room, and now I'm grounded for the rest of the school year. FML

#19059244 (219)

I agree, your life sucks (1600) - you deserved it (11528)

On 02/12/2012 at 7:01pm - misc - by Alyssa - United States

Today, I took my girlfriend out for a fancy dinner to celebrate our anniversary. When the waitress came, we instantly recognized each other. She was the girl I'd had a one night stand with a few weeks before. FML

#19066381 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (610) - you deserved it (10879)

On 02/13/2012 at 4:49pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada

Today, I realized that mixing alcohol with my medication causes me to lose my memory. I went to see my favorite band in concert last night and I can't remember a single song they played. FML

#18974554 (177)

I agree, your life sucks (2564) - you deserved it (9876)

On 02/02/2012 at 3:10am - health - by Kreen - China

Today, I learned that my "cash back rewards" for credit card purchases are mailed with the monthly statement. The same monthly statement that goes straight into the shredder or fireplace because I prefer to do my banking online. FML

#18996100 (83)

I agree, your life sucks (1743) - you deserved it (9205)

On 02/04/2012 at 9:51pm - money - by twiggy24 (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I sneaked off work early. As I was in the elevator on the way down to leave, it stopped at my boss's floor, and he got in. FML

#19025200 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (1304) - you deserved it (9140)

On 02/08/2012 at 8:26am - work - by ronz -

Today, I ate an entire pack of breath mints in preparation for a date. Instead of giving me fresh breath, it gave me a terrible case of diarrhea. FML

#19045856 (191)

I agree, your life sucks (2294) - you deserved it (8890)

On 02/11/2012 at 1:36am - love - by sarah (woman) - United States

Today, I made a Sim of myself and had her work out until she was completely fit, then got her a job and a husband. Meanwhile, I sat at my desk, fat, single and jobless. FML

#19013496 (158)

I agree, your life sucks (3434) - you deserved it (8549)

On 02/06/2012 at 9:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to inconspicuously hock a loogie. It went down my bra. FML

#18993154 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (1621) - you deserved it (7010)

On 02/04/2012 at 3:22pm - misc - by Courtney - Reserved

Today, I have to follow through with the bet I lost over the Super Bowl game. I don't have a problem running a lap nude around my block, but the cops in the police station right across from my house probably will. FML

#19017961 (230)

I agree, your life sucks (2059) - you deserved it (6982)

On 02/07/2012 at 12:58pm - misc - by MillyMan (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I showed off my new tattoo to my friends. Too bad it says "Walk Earless" now instead of "Walk Fearless." That's right, I'm now supporting Van Gogh. FML

#18997714 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (3285) - you deserved it (6954)

On 02/05/2012 at 12:54am - misc - by inked - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got pulled over. When the cop asked where I was coming from, reflexively I said, "Your mom's house." FML

#19064415 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (1200) - you deserved it (6937)

On 02/13/2012 at 10:30am - misc - by SpLo0gIeR - United States

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.