Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

March 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12404) - you deserved it (43446)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16415) - you deserved it (22729)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6423) - you deserved it (18841)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States

Today, a friend sent me a song. I didn't have time to listen to it all, so I listened to the first 30 seconds of it to get a feel for it. It was nice and uplifting, so I sent it to my mom. Turns out, after the first 30 seconds, the singer brightens his day by singing about his enormous penis. FML

#21366785
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21074) - you deserved it (9904)

On 03/02/2015 at 7:48pm - misc - by Microtron - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have been at my new job for almost a month and still have no idea what I'm doing. FML

#21367094
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23042) - you deserved it (8952)

On 03/03/2015 at 5:15am - work - by soconfused (woman) - United Kingdom (Belfast)

Today, I received a rejection letter from a job I desperately wanted. Yesterday, the job offer I'd been stalling on in while waiting for news about this one expired. FML

#21367239
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21792) - you deserved it (7652)

On 03/03/2015 at 12:18pm - work - by badtiming (woman) - Brazil (Rio de Janeiro)

Today, I thought I had carbon monoxide poisoning because I had the symptoms and my detector was going off. I called the fire dept, they checked me, they checked my apartment. My apartment is fine; I'm just out of shape, have high blood pressure, and don't know how to work simple electronics. FML

#21367736
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21316) - you deserved it (7091)

On 03/04/2015 at 12:12am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like he and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27687) - you deserved it (5944)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)

Today, I realized I hate my boyfriend's little sister enough to break up with him. FML

#21366485
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25532) - you deserved it (5814)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:31am - love - by sorry... - United States (Delaware)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27921) - you deserved it (5325)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got pulled over during my driving test. FML

#21367600
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24688) - you deserved it (5323)

On 03/03/2015 at 9:35pm - misc - by notdrivinganytimesoon (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after many tests and doctor visits, I finally found out the reason for my flu-like symptoms isn't a vitamin deficient or anything. The damn tea I drink every morning makes me feel sick. FML



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: