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October 2016

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Today I bought a 50$ voucher card to refill my phone. After I purchased it, I threw the receipt in the dustbin. When I got home, I found out that the 14-digit pin code was on the receipt. I basically threw 57 bucks in the dustbin. FML

by Iris / 10/12/2016 at 9:53am / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

by TomorrowMaybe / 10/08/2016 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Health

Today, I noticed I've been an Amazon Prime member for 2 years and never knew. FML

by storyteller / 10/04/2016 at 12:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while working the Sunday rush at the deli, I held up a piece of ham to a blind customer and asked him if it was thick enough. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 10:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML

by greeter / 10/18/2016 at 2:49am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Work

Today, I spent 2 hours organizing all of my coupons, just to leave out my room for 10 seconds to come back to my 2-year-old crumbling them up and ripping them. FML

by DezyCoCo / 10/01/2016 at 1:14am / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I got a call informing me that my 16-year-old daughter had been arrested for shoplifting jewellery. Trying to look on the bright side, I assumed it was for my birthday that is coming up in a few days. Nope. It was a "Thank you" gift. For her drug dealer. FML

by Pissed.Off.Mom. / 10/06/2016 at 1:14am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, for the sixteenth consecutive time, I'm definitely not pregnant. Nope, I'm just super bitchy, and I like really weird food. FML

by Amie89 / 10/09/2016 at 12:37am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, after creating a swear jar for my son, I came back to find a $20 bill in it and him saying, "How much does that buy?" FML

by padre74 / 10/03/2016 at 1:31pm / United States (Tennessee) / Kids

Today, after months of arguing and conflict, I broke up wIth my fiancé. Or at least, I tried to. The wedding's off, but only until he can convince me to want to marry him again. FML

by Anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:17am / United States / Love

Today, I was taking my phone out of my pocket when it caught on the fabric and began to fall. I managed to catch it, but also smacked myself in the balls in the process. FML

by anonymous / 10/11/2016 at 1:23am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, while working at a bank, I helped a customer who was making a large withdrawal. After I counted out his money, I asked "Do you want the strap on?" After a moment of awkward silence, as I realized how that came out, he smiled and said, "No thanks, I don't need one." and winked. Great. FML

by StarDust5921 / 10/03/2016 at 9:55pm / United States (New York) / Work