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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16639) - you deserved it (41441)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14588) - you deserved it (37038)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16640) - you deserved it (31543)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16013) - you deserved it (31498)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date with a girl I like. Afterwards, I drove her home, and we just sat there awkwardly. I thought she wanted to kiss me but was nervous, so I jokingly said "What're you waiting for? Christmas?" I guess she took that as a "Get the hell out", because she broke into tears and left. FML

#21395685
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21533) - you deserved it (28446)

On 04/18/2015 at 10:38am - love - by fuck (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

#21386294
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13510) - you deserved it (26723)

On 04/02/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by banana12321 - United States (California)

Today, I pulled up to a red light. My ex was in the next car, and my car's windows are so tinted that you can't see through them, so I flipped him off. I was driving my mom's car. FML

#21396485
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12898) - you deserved it (25173)

On 04/19/2015 at 9:39pm - love - by queenbitch - United States (Michigan)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16152) - you deserved it (21254)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, I learned that before you tell a blonde joke, you should make sure that your high school's 6'8", 275-pound, blond quarterback isn't standing behind you. FML

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25527) - you deserved it (18565)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27164) - you deserved it (16672)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (16456)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22408) - you deserved it (16137)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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