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April 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I lost my virginity in a porta-potty. FML

#21389255
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16411) - you deserved it (40554)

On 04/07/2015 at 12:19pm - love - by NotALuckyGuy - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was driving and someone was following me across the city and wouldn't let up, so I drove past my house, thinking it was a stalker. Eventually I lost them on the highway. It wasn't until I'd gotten back home that I remembered that my 'stalker' was a coworker I'd invited over for lunch. FML

#21390746
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14244) - you deserved it (36084)

On 04/09/2015 at 4:11pm - work - by Distracted (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, at a mind-numbingly boring support session, everyone was talking about their hardships. One guy was talking about losing his leg in a car accident. I was half-asleep and asked without thinking, "Did you ever find it?" I almost shat my pants at the roomful of death glares that followed. FML

#21389976
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16405) - you deserved it (30922)

On 04/08/2015 at 12:08pm - misc - by S to the HIT (man) - United States (California)

Today, while cleaning my desk I found a stray gumball. I quickly popped it into my mouth only to discover with horror that it was a paintball. FML

#21394264
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14000) - you deserved it (27894)

On 04/15/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought I had gotten away with throwing a party while my folks were gone the night before. They came home and I was as sweet as possible. I could tell they were not buying it, but I thought I was in the clear. Later, they told me I had drunk-dialled them and spilled the beans. FML

#21386294
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13449) - you deserved it (26562)

On 04/02/2015 at 12:40am - misc - by banana12321 - United States (California)

Today, I filled out an online application for a internship. I didn't have all the info I need to complete it, but it wouldn't let me leave anything blank so to move along I filled in crap answers. I pressed "Save". It sent my draft in. I now have to explain that "Jesus" isn't actually my reference. FML

#21392735
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15455) - you deserved it (20374)

On 04/13/2015 at 1:20am - work - by unprofessional - United States (Oregon)

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23248) - you deserved it (16886)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got headbutted for saying that Nutella is overrated. FML

#21391724
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26434) - you deserved it (15957)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:34am - health - by jamisbetter - United Kingdom

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26983) - you deserved it (15876)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got disappointed when I realized that I had to share a bed with my husband because we had company over. FML

#21389862
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22147) - you deserved it (15837)

On 04/08/2015 at 6:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after locking myself out of my house, I let myself into my car to wait on someone with a spare key. It took me 15 minutes to realise the house and car key share the same ring. FML

#21390076
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18744) - you deserved it (15139)

On 04/08/2015 at 3:36pm - misc - by losing the plot (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol, City of)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (14578)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, I saw one one of my cat's hairs on my sweatpants and wanted to remove it. It wasn't a cat hair, but a pubic hair that has found its way through my panties and sweatpants while being still attached to me. FML



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