Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 29 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to my bedroom for some alone time while my daughter watched TV. I didn't realize that my iPad was still connected to the Apple TV, until I hit play on some porn and heard a scream from the other room. FML

#21008990
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25982) - you deserved it (53527)

On 12/29/2013 at 2:01am - kids - by ConfusedDad - United States

Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML

#21009159
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50725) - you deserved it (26340)

On 12/29/2013 at 7:36am - intimacy - by Jizzyface (man) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, I ran for the first time in ages when I saw my bus coming. My loose shoe went flying into a shop doorway, and I tripped into the gutter. FML

#21009861
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32926) - you deserved it (6024)

On 12/29/2013 at 10:52pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my husband told me yet again that the last two years have been the worst of his life. Our two year anniversary is next week. FML

#21009083
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40483) - you deserved it (4308)

On 12/29/2013 at 4:05am - love - by heart broken - United States

Today, I was verbally abused by a tourist because neither I nor anyone else in my country can speak "proper English". We're in England - clue's in the name, dipshit. FML

#21009563
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39391) - you deserved it (4020)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:23pm - misc - by Kayak (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was mopping the floor at the hotel I work at. Before I could react, a gentleman stormed through the corridor and slipped and fell on the still wet floor. He complained to the owner, who bitched me out just to satisfy the guy. FML

#21009463
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34503) - you deserved it (3635)

On 12/29/2013 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we need to talk. I think he dumped me, but I'm not sure, because he muttered it in Russian and quickly left. FML

#21009542
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41264) - you deserved it (3333)

On 12/29/2013 at 5:58pm - love - by RustyRuski (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, me and some friends had home-made burgers for lunch. The guy who did the cooking later insisted that spitting in a frying pan is a perfectly acceptable way of guessing the right time to add the oil. FML

#21009569
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37561) - you deserved it (3278)

On 12/29/2013 at 6:28pm - health - by HungerStrike (man) - Czech Republic (Stredocesky kraj)

Today, I have to take time off from work to take part in an intervention because my sister's obsession with the guy from Harry Potter has crossed over into illegality. FML

#21009908
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39482) - you deserved it (3136)

On 12/29/2013 at 11:23pm - misc - by LeaveHimAlone (man) - United States (Maryland)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: