Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Sunday 22 December 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, she stopped moaning and told me to stop because she couldn't fake it anymore. FML

#21001045
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51505) - you deserved it (14877)

On 12/22/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML

#21001381
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (9298)

On 12/22/2013 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel

Today, I was helping my mom look for some money she'd misplaced. At my wit's end, I flipped through her diary, in case she'd hidden it between the pages as she has before. Didn't find the money, but I did find out she might well be cheating on my dad. FML

#21000942
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38462) - you deserved it (7481)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, it's been a little over a month since my dad started taking yoga lessons. We always joked around behind his back that he was just doing it so he could get flexible enough to suck himself off. Well, that joke was confirmed as reality when I walked in on him trying just that. FML

#21001267
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49258) - you deserved it (6828)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:22pm - intimacy - by bleach bleach bleach (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I walked in on my daughter lighting candles around one of her friends, who'd fallen asleep while her other friends chanted something in a different language. They still won't tell me what they were doing. FML

#21001182
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48165) - you deserved it (4772)

On 12/22/2013 at 10:36am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend got us kicked out of the Apple store for getting into a heated argument with the guy at the Genius Bar about which video game avatar is hotter. FML

#21001750
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38000) - you deserved it (4761)

On 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm - love - by Lucie - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML

#21001530
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38191) - you deserved it (3850)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm - kids - by bastard (woman) - United States

Today, I found out I was passed over for the promotion I've wanted for 9 months at the fast food restaurant I work in. Who got the job? The 16 year old girl I trained 2 weeks ago. Their excuse was, "She has ambition." I'm going to college for food service management. She failed her drug test. FML

#21001701
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49764) - you deserved it (3757)

On 12/22/2013 at 7:58pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother got a new saxophone. He thought a good way to break it in was to play it in my ear. Loudly. While I was sleeping. FML

#21001557
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35085) - you deserved it (3372)

On 12/22/2013 at 4:56pm - misc - by blackcarnation - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to a local bar for a speed dating event. The first person I hooked up with took one look at my face, burst into laughter, and walked out of the bar practically doubling over. FML

#21000904
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36698) - you deserved it (3199)

On 12/22/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by Isitreallythatbad, (woman) - United States

Today, I got a call at 4 in the morning from the security company, saying someone had broken into my workplace. I drove an hour out there, only to find out it was a rat that had set off the alarm. FML

#21000984
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38669) - you deserved it (2962)

On 12/22/2013 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: