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Sunday 24 November 2013

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Today, while riding the subway, I fell asleep. I awoke to find that someone had stolen my glasses. From off my face. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 6:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I discovered that my heart rate is higher while playing Tetris than it is during sex. FML

by TetrisMaster / 11/24/2013 at 7:30am / Australia / Health

Today, I realized my wedding ring had fallen off while doing yard work the previous day. Luckily, I only worked in a few areas, so I had high hopes of finding it. That is until a storm came through, blew half a foot of leaves all over the property, and then froze them with sleet. FML

by midnightsun1143 / 11/24/2013 at 3:32am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I helped a nice middle-aged lady pick out a sweater. She then opened her changing room door to ask for my opinion. I still don't understand why she had to take everything else off to try on a sweater. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 12:30am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I was quietly admiring my boyfriend from outside the kitchen as he made us dinner, only to witness him drop a load of spaghetti on the floor, swear, then scoop it all up and place it back on the plate. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2013 at 1:31pm / France / Health

Today, my boyfriend announced to me he was sleeping with another girl via alphabet soup. FML

by fries / 11/24/2013 at 11:01am / United States (New York) / Love

Today, my workplace had a big employee photoshoot for an ad campaign. I was there all of 30 seconds before the photographer said, "What the fuck? Look guys, this ain't an ad for facial abortions." He then asked me and another colleague to step out of the shot. FML

by fuggers :/ / 11/24/2013 at 4:38pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "our priorities aren't the same." Her priorities turned out to be getting into my coworker's pants. FML

by bsulyingb / 11/24/2013 at 2:59pm / United States / Love