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Sunday 29 September 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61210) - you deserved it (25707)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I saw two kids having a fistfight in the street. I ran over to stop them, and one ended up hitting me in the eye. I now have a black eye over what turned out to have been a fight over who was going to get the last slice of pizza. FML

#20900036
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36878) - you deserved it (8961)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:10am - kids - by ahuman - United States

Today, my girlfriend walked in on me taking a dump, and started plucking her eyebrows. When I told her I was uncomfortable, she said, "Aww, is my baby's poo shy? Is it, is it?" and pinched my cheek. FML

#20900665
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41090) - you deserved it (6881)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:21pm - misc - by noweddingforyou (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally handed my girlfriend a portrait of her. I'm not the best drawer, but I spent weeks on it and I thought it turned out pretty good. When she looked at it, she asked what kind of dog was it. FML

#20900272
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41822) - you deserved it (4927)

On 09/29/2013 at 9:00am - love - by Laserbeaver (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

#20899979
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40839) - you deserved it (4494)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:16am - work - by browngirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, at work as a cashier, I was scanning cantaloupes. The man buying them then looked me straight in the eye and said, "Nice melons." FML

#20900810
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33927) - you deserved it (4428)

On 09/29/2013 at 5:12pm - work - by Nice Melons (woman) - United States

Today, a stranger pulled me out of the path of a speeding taxicab. He then took one look at my face, said, "I should've left you there", and walked away. FML

#20900063
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43273) - you deserved it (4096)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:45am - misc - by -__-" - United States (Washington)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43754) - you deserved it (2793)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was using the bathroom at McDonald's when my wallet fell out of my pocket. A lady reached into my stall and tried to grab it. FML

Today, a girl who's in charge of a group project that I get graded on, asked if Bill Gates was a Founding Father. She was totally serious. I'm screwed. FML

#20900504
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38200) - you deserved it (2465)

On 09/29/2013 at 1:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "mom" while at work. FML

#20901049
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35095) - you deserved it (2446)

On 09/29/2013 at 8:15pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)



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